Have you ever asked a friend to take down a picture on Facebook because you think it’s unflattering or embarrassing? Have you ever spent a lot of time crafting the perfect caption? Have you ever friended someone but then felt too awkward to say hi when you saw them in person?
Everyone has a different social media presence, but almost no one is completely genuine in creating a profile. Facebook has become a form of personal advertisement to boost social capital. It is not about just creating connections with people: it’s about crafting an image. This might be stating the obvious, but it’s also stating a fact that is not openly acknowledged. In my opinion, this lack of authenticity is the core problem with our social media usage (and quite frankly with our real life relationships as well). People are afraid to be genuine on Facebook because it is so public. More often than not, people’s networks include “friends” that they barely even know. On top of that, we all have been warned of the ominous “colleges and companies look at your Facebook profile when they are deciding about whether or not to accept you.” This is what results in people deleting their Facebook accounts, or that feeling of anxiety you get after posting pictures or comparing yourself to other people you find yourself stalking.
The issue with Facebook is that there is no universally accepted purpose for it. Linkedin is used to create professional connections with people. Email is used to keep in direct contact with individuals. With Facebook, the jury is still out. It may have started as a platform to connect with others, but it has strayed from that original purpose.
Columbia University did a study that affirmed what you may have already suspected: the way you use Facebook completely determines how it affects your mood. If you are actively engaged and post frequently, you are more likely to get self-confidence and positivity from the responses and affirmation you receive. If you passively scroll through your newsfeed and lament that you are not doing as many cool things as that one acquaintance traveling abroad, you are going to be unhappier through Facebook usage. But here’s where it gets interesting: a study done by the University of California San Diego showed that emotions can spread like wildfire through your social media network. The mood of your posts on Facebook has a ripple effect on the mood of all active people in your network. Your Facebook presence is influencing the happiness (or unhappiness) of other people you know. Clearly, social media can affect your happiness, and so we need to be more intentional about how we use it.
I see the lack of authenticity on Facebook as a problem that is hindering our ability to have meaningful relationships, and in the long run hindering our well-being. I have a challenge for you (and for myself): be more genuine on Facebook, and take the activity of others with a grain of salt. Don’t spend time crafting an image for yourself. Don’t worry about whether or not to post something. Find a way to be authentic in whatever way works best for you.
