Get Angry

So what do we think of “insert great author of literature” and their work, “insert great work of literature?” Crickets chirp. Chairs creak. A class of Middlebury students looks down at their books. The professor waits…and waits…and waits. A brave student raises their hand. The tension is almost palpable. Will they say something smart? Will they make fools of themselves? I bet they’re a first-year — are they though? Maybe they’re majoring in “insert subject.” Oh, it’s okay we are in the clear. They didn’t say anything too important.

Why does this situation ever occur at Middlebury? I know you have all felt it and I hope it has made you uncomfortable. More importantly, why are you guilty of it? Why am I guilty of it!? Do we all collectively not care, not do the readings or are too timid? I know that can’t be true. So I’m stuck. Stuck wondering whether we are apathetic, nervous, or just lazy.

Okay, I know we are not lazy. Just look at this campus during exam week.  Work until you collapse! Sleep when you’re dead! Hard work! Idioms about bootstraps! No, when it comes to work we kill it. If you don’t believe me, we’ve got midterms coming up. Take a walk around the library.

We are doing the work, for the most part. What causes awkward silence in a classroom then? Nervousness? Sure. I really doubt it is due to the professor though.  No, here the blame lies clearly with us. I have yet to encounter a professor who makes a judgment on you for being wrong. Nope, that unique trait goes to fellow students. We hold each other to an extraordinarily high standard, mostly out of a need for self-validation. I mean really, how often do you roll your eyes, tune out or just don’t care when a particularly inarticulate comment is made? I’m just as guilty as you.

In all honesty, it took me a good two semesters of Middlebury before feeling that I contribute positively in discussions without spouting half-baked, emotionally backed biases from teenage life. However, you need to trip a whole lot before getting up to Middlebury standard, so I’ll forgive myself and all other too enthusiastic first-years.  After all, even a bad comment is better than that horrible silence, right?

So we can rule out laziness and nervousness. Where does that leave us? At apathy? Sure we have our causes and our moments of activism, yet in classrooms at times we can be remarkably silent. Well, I’m really tired. I have a lot of work.  I’m so hungover. Get over yourself, nobody cares. But we value apathy. Passivity is far more preferable than the prospect of failing publicly in a classroom, even if it’s more petty than just being wrong. Academic material needs to be approached, dispassionately, coldly. Hold it at arms length and put it down as quickly as you picked it up.

A peer in a class of mine got worked up about a topic in class. Well, she got angry. In an academic environment, she did the unthinkable and got emotional. Like any good student of academia, I immediately stopped and dismissed it as childish, overwrought and out of place. And I was very wrong.

Dear Lord, my instinct took me to a sterile place where passion is not allowed! The courageous thing would be to draw your line in the sand. Get emotional over things that demand emotion.  Without it where would we be?

“Well I really respect what Mr. King was saying. He was no doubt a revolutionary and brought about great change in civil rights in America. He carried great influence in the civil rights movement.”

How quaint. How about…

“MLK had it right for the most part. I don’t he was radical enough. If anyone set dogs on my friends I’d kill those dogs like Malcolm X suggested. But I wouldn’t stop there. We should count ourselves lucky a man as moderate as Martin Luther King came along.”

That comment would be met with uncomfortable silence. The line was crossed. You used the word “I.” You got angry, and you’re no longer taken seriously.  This is wrong, the need more passion and courage in our comments and debates. Know your stuff, for we certainly work hard enough to learn it. Then get burned up about it. Instead of handling material in latex gloves, grip it by the horns. As Captain America says, “Doctor Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry.” “That’s my secret Captain,” the Hulk replies,  “I’m always angry.”