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Tuesday, Apr 23, 2024

Michael Lin Wins SGA Candidacy by a Landslide The Rags-to-Riches Story of a Man, His Friends and a Big, Secret Joke

Author: Charlie Goulding

On Friday, April 25, all 4,294 Middlebury students cast their ballots for next year's Student Government Association (SGA) president. Students were offered the choice between Sam Rodriguez '04, Megan McElroy '04 and Andrew Feinberg '04. Mike Lin received nil votes. Lin spelt backwards is niL. Thus, Michael Lin received all 4,294 votes. Michael Lin is SGA president.
In a written statement Monday, however, Lin's two advisors, speaking on behalf of Lin himself, announced he would not be accepting his new title.
"The tao of Lin prevents Mr. Lin from actualizing his essence through the position he was appointed to," stated one of his advisors. Instead, Lin has chosen to anoint Lin Ekim King of the SGA. In this exclusive interview with The Middlebury Campus, Lin Ekim sits down with his two campaign managers to discuss, life, politics, and his newly anointed Kingship.

The Campus: King Ekim, you must be very proud, having been voted in unanimously by the student body.
Lin Ekim: I'm a man of the people, Campus. The people voted in a man who is a man of the people. Thus, the people voted in the people. It just so happens that I am a man. Do you see where I'm going with this?
The Campus: I sure do, my liege. Your campaign made it very clear you are the type of candidate that can connect with the common man.
L.E: You know, that reminds me of a story, The Middlebury Campus. I was touring this bio-industrial plant once. You know, bio-suit, hard-hat, the whole deal. A guy walking on a platform above me dropped an apple he was eating and it landed on my head. I looked up, and I saw he had a little drivel of apple juice running down the corner of his mouth. I motioned with my hand to wipe it off and he did so. Maybe it's just me but I thought we had a moment.
The Campus: Man, I need a Kleenex. One of your more boisterous campaign slogans said that if you vote for Lin Ekim, you vote for freedom. In what way is your name synonymous with liberty?
L.E: That's a good question, The Campus. Back in '89 when the wall was going down, I made it a priority to be there to help tear down that beacon of oppression. Unfortunately, just as I straddled the top some guy yanked out the wrong brick right from under me and I came tumbling down head over heels. I've hated the game Jenga ever since.
The Campus: Let's talk housing. The school says room draw always leaves some students without a room initially, but that it all works out in the end. Are they telling the truth or just making excuses?
L.E: There's an old saying: excuses are the nails that build the house of failure. It's clear we need more housing. The real question is, do we have enough excuses to do so?
The Campus: Hmmm. I'm going to need to let that one marinate for a second. OK. One of the biggest issues of this year's election has been citation reform. Where do you weigh in on the matter?
(At this point in the interview, King Ekim calmly removed a citation slip from his briefcase, wrote me up a citation and handed it to me. "Welcome to Citation Nation," he said, and smiled.)
The Campus: This is getting a little deep for me, Mr. Ekim. Let's nail down the particulars about you. What year are you, where do you live, major, etc?
L.E: The Middlebury Campus, I live in the Bi-Hall Green-House - Daffodils, which is sub-free this year. I'm '05.10/12, which of course means I'm an Oct. I'm a Poli-Sci major with a Poli-Sci minor and I might make that a joint, but then I'd have to move away from the Daffodils.
The Campus: Do you Yahoo?
L.E: Occasionally.
The Campus: I'm sorry Mr. Ekim, but I've got to ask: controversy enveloped the Lin campaign earlier this year with accusations that you'd been receiving illegal campaign contributions from special interest groups on campus. Once and for all, what is your relationship to LOGS?
L.E: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I dropped LOGS from my list of campaign contributors months ago.
The Campus: Rumor has it students from all over New Jersey were sending you money.
L.E: You'll just have to take my word for it. I dropped LOGS wherever I found them.
The Campus: Despite overwhelming support, let's assume that there's a doubter or two out there who's concerned about how effective you'll be as SGA King. What do you have to say to him or her?
L.E: All I know is, there's no I in team, but there's a Lin Ekim in SGA President if you add an m, k and an l. You only need one 'i' if you're willing to recycle and we all know Middlebury has a Recycling Center.
The Campus: Nuff said, King Ekim. Nuff said.


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