On the Road to Find Out

Last semester, prior to final exams, a professor of mine surprised the class by providing each student with two mix CDs. A sweet gesture – we now all had new jams to carry us through our ten-page research paper and gut-wrenching three-hour final exam. But, really, why had he taken the time?

Although he may have simply delighted in compiling a selection of tunes that through title, lyrics or place of origin related to "civil conflict" (a genre not to be found on iTunes, Pandora and the like), he was not without an explanation, which I found to be genuine and above all, a piece of wisdom. He explained to us that while no professor likes to think the concepts he or she painstakingly teaches over the course of the semester evaporate from our brains the second the semester ends, he is not under the delusion that we would retain every detail of the subject in years to come. However, he continued, music resonates – it sticks with a person forever. So he hoped that by giving us a selection of music infused with the course's concepts we would never forget what we had learned. I found this to be a unique concept, one that in some small way I hope to replicate through this column.

College is a shared experience – through our four years, we may take slightly different paths, but in the end we suffer similar trials and revel in similar successes. In this column, I will seek to learn something from the common problems that plague us and not forget to appreciate the awesomeness these four short years have to offer. Our time here should not pass as a blur – it deserves to be remembered.

To begin, here's a thought: how often do we feel bound by what we could do – the "eyes are too big for your stomach" problem, and what we should be doing – that weight in one's stomach that says, "I am not living my life to its potential"?

When I arrived on campus as a first-year, I was overwhelmed by the concept that I could be an entirely new person – I'd been studying the same subjects and playing on the same sports teams since I was five – and not only did the opportunities now seem endless (Quidditch? Arabic? ... Newspaper?), but I was determined to sample them all.

The endeavor was and has continually proven impossible. In fact, not long after classes started, I found myself requesting my name be removed from countless organizations' email lists and withdrawing from excess academic responsibility, trying to find my niche on campus.

Was I wrong to dial it back? I don't believe so in the slightest, but I may have made my decision for the wrong reasons. I left my schedule open, afraid of overdoing my responsibilities, but did not use my time to hike Snake Mountain, take a trip to Montreal or go apple-picking. Middlebury's abundance of opportunities are two-fold, work and play Рand the play, I discovered a bit late in the game, is not reserved to beer pong tourneys and late-night Grille runs. As a first-year, I felt that if I removed myself from campus or the everyday goings-on I would be missing out. So I did not take advantage of those first few years of discovery, without the job hunt, senior work and my r̩sum̩ to worry about.

Not everyone takes this route. Over the summer, a friend, while discussing the upcoming senior year, expressed the desire to focus his energies, which he had allowed to run rampant to all manner of clubs, activities, interests and friends.

Regardless of which road you take, it seems to me that the first few years of college are confusing. Trying too much may leave you scraping for some continuity, while trying too little may leave you rushing to fill in the blanks.

Knowing what you want or who you want to be? The fact of the matter is that those who think they've got it – first-years and seniors alike – are kidding themselves. Figuring it out is what college is about (and even then we rarely come to a conclusion on the matter). All I can say is lay off on stressing about trying to make "yourself" happen. There's no one road, nothing you should or must be doing. Time is not running out and these four years are not the end-all-be-all defining factors of your life. Do what makes you happy and take a moment, especially in these first days of classes, to appreciate and enjoy.