When the Middlebury community learned of the death of one of our own – Nathan Alexander ’17 – we were shocked and saddened. We at the Campus deeply felt this loss and decided that at this time no other subject was as important to the community as the death of one of our students. We cannot hope to fully express the impact that this loss will have on our community or on each of us individually. Yet, whether or not we knew Nathan personally, we grieve that Middlebury College is now suddenly and tragically one less.
In difficult times such as these, it is easy for us to feel isolated and to withdraw into ourselves. But despite this impulse, now is the time to reach out to our fellow students. Each time we reach out to one another – even for a brief check-in – we tighten the bonds that create this community. It is this care for each other that will keep us afloat in times of pain and confusion. As our President, all Commons Deans and Parton Health Center staff have rightly repeated: look after those around you, be they close friends or simply classmates. But as we reach out to one another, we must remember that each of us grieves in our own individual way, and it is important to respect each other’s processes. Those who were close to Nathan are in pain right now and we must be mindful of how our actions will affect them in particular.
While the shock of losing Nathan may eventually diminish, our memories of him will not fade. Many meetings, events and classes have begun with moments of silence in remembrance of his life. On Monday night, there was a candlelight vigil in his honor. Throughout the week, including tonight, Ross Commons is holding open hours from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. in the Fireplace Lounge. This Sunday there will be a service in Mead Chapel at 11 a.m. The service is open to all members of the community and will be followed by a reception with Nathan’s family in Redfield-Proctor. We urge students to take advantage of these opportunities to celebrate Nathan’s life.
We also urge students to take advantage of the support resources offered by the Scott Center for Spiritual and Religious Life, Parton Center for Health and Wellness and the Commons teams. These resources are here to support us in this time of grief and pain. A drop-in grief support group will be held every Friday at 2 p.m. for the rest of the semester. Chaplains are available for appointments at (802) 443-5626, and individual counseling sessions at Parton Counseling can be scheduled at (802) 443-5141. When offices are closed, the Department of Public Safety at (802) 443-5911 can connect you to support staff. Counseling Services of Addison County is also available 24-hours-a-day at (802) 388-6741.
The outpouring of support from the College and fellow students in response to Nathan’s passing ought to give a clear message that we are a community – one that is built around neither Panther pride nor school spirit, but compassion and care for your peers. If we do not take care of one another, we have no community, let alone one to be proud of. Therefore, in these moments of mourning, it is more critical than ever that we live up to the meaning of this word, community. That we put our differences aside and recognize the unfathomable value of each other’s lives. That we make it clear that none of us ever, ever have to be alone while we are students at this school. Rest in peace, Nathan. You are dearly missed.
