Bedroom Briefs

By Virginia Johnson

I do not enjoy giving head. I find the sensation of jamming a phallus against my gag reflex generally unpleasant, and, in my eyes, the activity fails to forge an emotional connection. I find fellatio physically intimate, I can smell the mustiness of his nether region, but I struggle to achieve emotional intimacy on my knees. Certainly, not everyone shares my opinion of blowjobs; roughly a third of women enjoy performing fellatio. Talking to my fellow blowjob administrators, I always discover controversy regarding technique and enjoyment. Varying opinions concerning the topic began long before the current era. The first record of oral sex dates back to Ancient Egypt. With the development of Christianity, oral sex acquired a sinful reputation. The modern age and pornography promoted fellatio as a kinky sexual option, and it eventually became a tool to spice up the conjugal bed. In the last few decades, however, attitudes towards oral sex have inverted. Oral sex has developed into a precursor for vaginal intercourse. Our generation administers blowjobs younger and more casually than any group of Americans before us, beginning as early as middle school. Many psychologists and psychiatrists fear that 11, 12, and 13 year-olds are not mentally developed enough for the activity. They predict that those who prematurely explore oral sex will fail to learn how to create emotional intimacy in conjunction with sexual intimacy.

Although I don’t feel my capacity to love has been stunted, my sexual exploration runs congruent with this trend. I gave my first blowjob years before I lost my virginity. I feel more comfortable administering fellatio casually than having sex casually. However, I take issue with my own opinion. Why should oral sex be casual? It is not physically safer than vaginal intercourse; it can spread sexually transmitted diseases. A lack of eye contact during oral sex enables emotional distance, but hiding during a sexual encounter is defeatist. If you want privacy, just stay clothed and keep your tongue in your own mouth. Although vaginal sex offers intimacy through shared pleasure, 69-ing can provide the same effect. By demoting oral to the world of one-night-stands, we discredit its capacity for pleasure and intimacy.

Additionally, I believe that the growing acceptance of fellatio has left “cunnilingus” in the dust. While writing this column, I’ve discussed oral sex a great deal recently, and many people have never heard the word cunnilingus. Cunnilingus, for those of you in the dark, is the practice of using one’s tongue and mouth to pleasure a vagina. This vocabulary failure is evidence of my opinion. While I feel expected to offer my mouth as a receptacle for penis during a casual hook up, guys seem to only consider eating out a serious girlfriend. I hear men express their reluctance to learn how to perform cunnilingus, whereas past partners assumed I would instantly understand how to expertly tongue their penis. Clearly, an imbalance exists: we label cunnilingus as disgusting and relegate it to the sphere of committed relationships, while fellatio has attained acceptance and ubiquity. In a world where only 40-percent of women have G-spot orgasms, we ladies should utilize all the extra appendages we can muster to achieve climax! Why limit our pleasurable options to fingers and grinding when the tongue works so well?

Meanwhile, although several orifices besides the mouth offer a snugger, more pleasurable fit for penises, blowjobs have attained widespread acceptance. I find this paradox frustrating, and I encourage you to rectify it! Do not be afraid to dislike or refuse oral sex, but do acknowledge its potential! Remember that oral sex spreads STD’s, and act accordingly. Consider how you use oral sex, and question the legitimacy of your habits. Learn your way around your preferred genitalia, and don’t be afraid to use a little tongue.