A Certain Romance

After gazing in awe at the double rainbow that appeared after the freak thunderstorm last Saturday, I realized that most of us share a certain romance with Middlebury. Disappointment with days of rain can be outsmarted by a perfect fall day; dissatisfaction with housing, the endowment or dining hall food can be replaced by pride in our solar decathlon house, a football win and a community meal of homemade locally-grown offerings. The College has many ways to keep us on the hook, but the fantasy version of her is in large part a result of our own participation. It seems easy to separate the students, faculty and staff from each other as well as the institution itself — as if we are one entity and it another. We pass through Middlebury with varying degrees of transience and move on to the next phases of our lives, while the College is a fixture, growing and progressing, but at its heart representing the same educational principles and goals from year to year. Yet our experiences with the College, our successes and failures, are uniquely tied to the time and energy we as members of the Middlebury community spend on the relationship. This does not mean always trying to change the bad, but expressing genuine appreciation for the positive experiences and fostering a sense of mutual trust — we’ve all jumped in feet first and will sink or swim together.

Among students I see this on a day-to-day basis, whether it be acquiring the motivation to attend a party despite a series of duds the night before, raising awareness for a club despite a showing of student apathy, keeping up spirits during the long period of winter gray or attending lectures despite having logged hours of work on regular classes — students invest themselves in all kinds of ways into giving life to the Middlebury experience.

All relationships have their ups and downs, especially when you imagine so many different personalities in some of the most tumultuous years of their lives attempting to connect in various ways with the unwavering character of the College, which no matter how hard she tries cannot be everything to everyone. But as I have recently witnessed, we all engage in a constant give and take, expecting a great deal from the institution while not shirking in our responsibilities as members of the community. Whether working at this relationship means making changes that best suit the community’s interests or providing opportunities for community-building where we may appreciate the joys of our experiences together, there is no denying that keeping this relationship going takes a great deal of emotional and mental fortitude.

While change is good, however, it cannot be achieved through anger or hostile contention. It cannot be derived from an “us versus them” construction and will never press forward without cooperation. A recent arrival to the College’s political scene, “the growing contingent” hopes to press its advantage as an insurgent group, as a child of anarchy seeking to stir up chaos or at least conversation surrounding the not unimportant issue of endowment investments and transparency. However, if they think that challenging the administration to a boxing match by throwing a cheap shot — the fake press release — will compel change, they are greatly mistaken. The students and the College are not two fighters in a ring. We have a highly dynamic, codependent relationship. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that trying to forcibly change your partner will only result in defensiveness, alienation and inevitable failure of the original purpose. On the other hand, withholding information, as the administration is wont to do, has never been a stepping-stone to a successful relationship either. I understand — the College is afraid to make itself vulnerable, and who could blame them when it seems that opening up and sharing itself with students only makes it susceptible to getting hurt? But we are not cultivating a healthy relationship; it seems to me that continuing down this path will only be to the detriment of us all.

All else aside, however, I believe there is something to be said for the level of optimism evident in the community’s dedication to making its relationship with the school a positive one — a willingness to compromise, overlook some flaws, adore the quirks and give praise where praise is due. As individuals, we are not in it for the long haul. We are here for a few years and then we are free to revisit with rose-colored lenses the so-called happiest years of ours lives and wipe away the hours of cynicism, frustration and devastation — all feelings that the average emotionally-charged 18-22-year old student goes through often. I suppose you could call it a whirlwind romance — an impactful, influential, all-consuming phase of life. But despite all the heartache, you can’t deny that there’s a whole lot of love.