If I were to try to describe it, I would root my answer in dichotomies: overwhelming yet exhilarating, unknown yet expected, intimidating yet motivating, and most importantly fearful yet rewarding. No, I am not talking about skydiving or meeting Will Ferrell, but rather the trials and tribulations, the rewards and frustrations of being a new kid.
This communal experience is not only something I can relate to, but is my current way of life. As a freshman feb in my first semester at Middlebury, my life is rooted in awkward eye contact, the hey-hi-how-are-you millisecond conversation, the endless scan of the dining hall, and the looming question of how my voice will blend into this unified college community. Therefore, my friend (yay to making new friends!), we are truly in this together.
If I were to be meeting you for the first time, I would show you my widest smile and make sure I made welcoming eye contact. I’d probably talk about growing up in Westchester, NY, coming from a divorced family and having three siblings. I would not forget to mention my love of doing anything outdoors and my passion for photography, even if I do not do it as much anymore. Anything with peanut butter, 500 Days of Summer, and Brett Dennen would be my responses to all the basic food/movie/music questions, with my voice cracking as little as possible. I’d try to make a joke. I’d hope/wait for you to laugh. We definitely would not talk about my fears of being alone or not knowing what I want to do with my life… at least at first. I would give you a hug goodbye because I am a sensitive person and would walk away wondering what that first encounter meant.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
I am here to uncover what happens once the preplanned meet-and-greets and orientations come to an end and all you are left with is your room key, class schedule, and a deep knot in your throat that is encased with fear. How do we as human beings learn to socialize, adapt, and co-exist with our environment? How do we create relationships and friendships out of thin air without letting preconceived notions cloud our judgment? Do we ever transition out of new kid status into seasoned professional? If we all come from different backgrounds, how do we all eventually homogenize into “Midd kids with our Nalgene low?” Why, if everyone at some point has experienced it, is being new so hard?
I want you to be the primary witnesses to the unsung heroes of this campus: those who are willing to put themselves out there and truly be themselves in an environment where cliques and reputations are the status quo. Those who are willing to trip and back track and even momentarily lose faith are the role models I want to focus on, because if the end goal is finding your niche in college, the road is going to be bumpy.
This column is for everyone; it’s about anyone who has been that someone with no one to sit with, or no one to rely on, and yet does not get discouraged. In the end we all find our people and our place and laugh at the time when we did not know whatwhowherewhenwhy, but that is not what I want to focus on. Continue reading if you can handle the awkwardness, the insecurities and the questioning that is crucial to finding your identity.
Believing that “not all those who wander are lost,” I introduce you to a New Kid on the Block who is eager, excited and nervous to meet you.
Artwork by CHARLOTTE FAIRLESS
