Sex Panther

I am your new sex columnist for the semester, nice to meet all of you! We are always hearing or talking about the “hook up culture” here at Middlebury, yet it seems that people here (girls especially, though I’m biased) never talk openly about sex! Instead, sex conversation is relegated to anonymous posts on Middfesh or the occasional drunk conversation. Which brings me to my first column topic: Start talking about sex!

I don’t encourage people thinking that they should be ashamed of any of their activity behind closed doors. Given that we are at a small school, no one wants to air out their dirty laundry, which makes sense. I’m not suggesting giving people all the little nitty-gritty details of your Atwater hook-up from this weekend. Instead, I want to encourage people to be more open about what they want sexually, specifically with the people they are going to be having sex with. Sex can be great, fun, awesome, exciting (among other things) but it really gets good when you feel like you can be open and trust your partner. And let me tell you, from stories and my own experience, there are way too many people who are having bad sex. Or worse, not even realizing they are having bad sex.

People at the College need to be more open with their sexuality. This means not being embarrassed because you like watching porn or not hiding that one little fetish you enjoy. It also includes being open with your limits. Sex isn’t for everyone, and it’s important to create an environment where people are comfortable to talk about what they like, but also what they don’t. Embrace your sexuality for what it is and what it isn’t. The more that people are in tune with their own sexuality, the better sex will be for everyone. Trust me!

There seems to be a divide between genders when it comes to opinions about sex at Middlebury. Guys tell me they regret “not going to a state school” because girls here are “prudes” and need to be more interested in having sex. According to them, girls aren’t interested in having sex. Let me tell you: many girls are interested in sex. But the difference is that girls worry about being judged for their behavior. They want to have sex, yet for some reason, there’s a stigma where they can’t act like they want it, for fear of being a “slut” or “whore.” On the other side, no one wants to be considered prudish, so people might also be participating in activities that they don’t feel comfortable with. Neither situation is desirable, for either party.

A solution? Start talking! The sooner we start talking about sex, the more we are going to feel confident that we aren’t the only ones with certain insecurities. And that is only going to make you feel more comfortable sexually, I promise.

I know people tend to be a little bit scared to get these kind of conversation started, so I’ll start it for you here in my column. I’ll try to discuss different sexual problems, frustrations or discoveries I have had or heard about on our campus here. But most importantly, don’t let the conversation end there. Keep talking. And discovering. And if you choose to have sex, make sure you are having better sex! You deserve it! We all deserve it! Don’t you dare sell yourself for less than you deserve. That is, sheet tangling, toe-curling, breathtaking, orgasmic sex (provided you want it, that is).

Here’s to getting the conversation started!

Xoxo,

Sex Panther (60 percent of the time, I work every time)