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Tuesday, Apr 16, 2024

Introducing: What’s Got Me F****d up This Week?

The answer is a lot of things. From whitesplaining to people having conversations in doorways, I have a lot to say. If you know me personally, this isn’t anything new. If you don’t know me, well, now you know. The purpose of this column is to talk about issues I think are important. Topics range from serious to trivial, but it’s all honest. There will also be a mix between Midd-specific and general annoyances.


In the spirit of free trials and free speech, here is a small sample column: Cutting bananas at the fruit cutting station in the dining halls.


You know who you are. What I don’t understand is why there is a necessity to take up space in an already long line to cut a fruit when a butter knife would suffice. Bananas, we’ve all seen them. They’re soft and mushy. More importantly, they leave a gooey residue on the knife, which no one seems to bother to clean off. Too many people neglect to clean up after themselves in general, whether it be leaving the peel or the phloem bundles. (Google it.)


Like most spaces designated for 18 to 25 year olds, the dining halls are communal. We all share a deep frustration with having to wait in line for things. Apart from the seeming lack of study spaces on a Sunday at two, it’s the bane of our existence at Midd. That being said, why add to the problem?


Is this the most pressing issue in the world? No. Does it have to be? Also no. Really, I’m doing this because I think I’m funny and someone thought I needed a platform for my humor. Someone out there may be thinking, “let people do what they want,” and I agree. I also think that same sentiment applies to me too, whether or not people agree with me or find my satirical approach obnoxious. 


If there comes a time when you want to respond to whatever I share, I invite you to do so. In the age of information, the internet and the reality of a small campus, finding me shouldn’t be too difficult.


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