Hey MiddKids! I’m back just in time to answer all the Covid-19-related sex questions you didn’t even know you had. There’s nothing like six months with your parents and siblings to prepare you for the new and strange social landscape that is this semester. Navigating our social lives in college was hard enough when we could touch one another, and with the new Covid-19 regulations, the Middlebury social scene has practically become uncharted waters.
In Phase Two, we've been told to pick four — and only four — close contacts to associate with. This makes any flirtatious, Proc crush-esque romances seem more unattainable than ever. Being told you can only interact closely with four people for the foreseeable future is very daunting. Do you choose four of your best friends? Do you leave a spot open in hopes of a new intimate partner? Do you sacrifice one of your closest friends for an already established partner? Were you looking forward to having more than four partners? These are all tricky questions with no obvious answers. I’m here to give you some tips and tricks for navigating sex and intimacy when DFMO’s, one night stands and random hookups are off the table (or at least more complicated than they used to be).
Remember that you do not need to be having sex. The Covid-19 pandemic is a really scary time, and possible transmission of the virus is enough to make anyone want to take a break from — or choose not to start — physical intimacy. Also, for many people, sex is not a part of their lives for a little time, a long time, or ever — pandemic or not — and that is perfectly normal. But if you do find yourself wanting a partner or sexual intimacy, here is what I have to say:
As the self-proclaimed Sex Panther, I know that being deprived of physical contact for six months leaves a lot of people craving intimacy and pleasure; maybe even a DFMO (there I said it). And coming back to this weird, dystopian campus is not exactly conducive to the sex lives that people may want or expect on a college campus.
Communication is the key to Covid-safe sex (and all sex, literally). Communicate your boundaries — know what your partner has been up to (are they following Covid-19 guidelines…?), know who they have been seeing, tell them who you have been seeing and what you are looking to get out of your time together.
Just making out? Cool. Something more with those face coverings on? Nice. Condoms and dams non-negotiable while we wait for more research on the virus? #science. Direct communication about what you want and don’t want is sexy and can build trust (also sexy). Maybe Covid-19 is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for to step up our sexual health conversation skills, and the pandemic is the masterclass we all didn’t know we signed up for.
Whether you are looking for snuggle buddies, multiple partners or want to make full use of the four-person close-contact limit, here are some things to keep in mind:
1) These guidelines are in place to help us, not just to complicate our sex lives.
2) Keep a running list of your hookups if you didn’t already (c’mon, we all think about it sometimes…), even if it was a one-time thing or they were a close contact for less than a hot second. This will be extremely important if contact tracing becomes necessary.
3) 2020 is the time to practice your safest sex yet! The Covid-19 virus has been found in poop and semen which means condoms, dental dams and other barrier methods are some of the best tools we can use to protect against STIs, unwanted pregnancy and Covid-19.
4) Don’t just wash your hands, wash your sex toys too! Check the packaging or manufacturer's instructions for the best cleaning method for your toys. It could be hot soapy water, a 10% bleach solution or something else.
5) As I said earlier, communication is key right now and becomes even more pertinent when you are having sex with new or old close contacts. Keep talking!
Good luck, and stay healthy!
xoxo,
Sex Panther
Sex Panther: The sexy side of Phase Two
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