Disaster Thwarted, Intramural Football Playoffs Begin

Author: Matt Waxman Staff Writer

Spring forward, fall back? Spring back, fall forward? Due to the confusion over the hour time difference caused by daylight savings time, the intramural football playoffs were in serious danger of being cancelled or, at the very least, postponed. In the end, league commissioner, Max Moyer, '01.5 announced that the 107 members of the Middlebury touch football league would not participate in this year's alleged time change. When asked about the decision, Moyer responded, "I don't understand how you can just change the clocks an hour. I mean, where did that hour go? Maybe if they shaved a second from every minute, people wouldn't notice."

The final week of the season concluded with the top eight teams fighting for playoff seeding. The league's bottom feeders had something to play for as well. Following the lead of the English Premier soccer league, a ruling was established that the league's bottom two teams would be dropped from next years league and required to play 27 daily holes of Frisbee golf. Those two teams, the Dungeon and Monastery, will not be mentioned by name but know exactly who they are. For everyone else, congratulations on a wonderful and ground breaking season.

Super Tuanis, for the second consecutive year, earned the top seed and will play Another Bad Creation in the opening round. Said ABC's captain, Jake "Give 'em" Heller, '02,"Off the record, I know we don't have a chance but I would never say that publicly."

The Chocolate Salties grabbed the number two seed and will open the playoffs against Team Boitano.

Salties' QB, Jim Shultz, '02 was named the leagues offensive MVP, passing for a league high 31 touchdowns. Said Shultz, "Right now, I'm not concerned about individual accolades. Football is a team game and I couldn't have done it without the players around me." When asked for a quote that was not cliché, Shultz responded, "To be honest, I really haven't had time to reflect back on the season, but it's a great honor and again, I'd like to thank my teammates."

In what many predict to be the closest game of the opening rounds, undefeated Pod wall will try to knock off the more experienced Frames. Pod wall, in its inaugural season, showed poise and leadership far beyond its years, cruising through an almost flawless regular season. Said Pod wall WR, Jake "small hands" Carney '04 "The season was almost perfect. I just wish we didn't all get the Lucky Charms guy tattooed on our thighs for team moral." Pod wall QB, Geoff Maly, '04 was named Rookie of the Year and said, "I just want to publicly thank Bob Smith, on behalf of all my teammates, for this year's IM football season. It has been the pinnacle of our Middlebury experience."

This year's Super Bowl will be played on November 7, at a time to be announced. For all IM football players, persons living in Arizona and the eastern half of Indiana, remember to show up at least an hour before the announced time to avoid any confusion.