Author: Philippe Danielides Staff Writer
What do the words skeevy, shifty, sketchy, dirty, horny, easy and unfaithful have in common? No, they are not Hugh Hefner's version of the seven dwarfs (although that would be funny), but rather adjectives used to typify a minority group constantly berated and victimized in American society. And as a member of this unfairly persecuted social group, I feel compelled to defend the honor of "college guys" everywhere.
Even on a campus as enlightened and educated as Middlebury's, myths still persist as to underhanded nature in which we deal with women. Although I feel there are certain aspects I would like to set the record straight on, there are others that men should take responsibility for.
Most people, especially females, are under the impression that the paramount goal of any Middlebury boy is the casual hook-up. What women consistently overlook is the fact that some guys are actually equipped with this innate mechanism known as "emotion." I would never claim that all guys are alike, and in fact, this variance in sexual behavior definitely extends to female race as well.
On the whole, however, I believe men recognize that emotional involvement enhances the quality of whatever relationship you find yourself in (if you are in the minority that does not appreciate emotional involvement, I wish you well in your endeavors toward anonymous, meaningless, one night-stands).
Recent trends in students' "sex lives" definitely point to the continuing unpopularity of emotional investment in relationships, however brief and alcohol induced as they might be. It is the misnomer that this is due to men's philosophies on college relationships that I have trouble believing. This condition is the result of mutually held expectations as to how hook ups should go, and these "parameters" have become more rigid every semester.
There is no other way to explain the disparity between the frequency of high school and college relationships other than citing our new environment. As Kate Strovink '04 said, "College boys are only high school boys brought up a year." It isn't as if we all attend pre-frosh summer seminars on how to have meaningless casual sex, or on how force girls into awkward situations.
He Still Says...
In defense of my simple minded, good-natured gender, the phrase "it takes two to tango" pops into my mind. Ladies, a word of advice if I may. Expect a guy to get the impression that you want something to happen if you flirt with him enough. How often have I seen my comrades subjected to the almighty tease? If you do not want a guy hitting on you, make sure that you physically assert yourself. By that, I don't mean a swift kick to the groin. I also don't condone the old keep-your-friend-with-you-at-all-times-till-the-guy-gets-frustrated-and-leaves routine. He may get frustrated, but he sure won't get the point, he'll just dislike your friend. Just be aware of your physical actions and how your little admirer might interpret them.
Lastly, one of the reasons why college boys are subjected to such cruelty is because we are consistently in the dark as to what our nice-smelling counterparts are thinking. Many problems arise because women assume men will be receptive to their subtle hints. This isn't baseball!! If college guys are expected to get the hint that you aren't interested when you twitch your nose and brush off your shoulders, chances are, they will continue to pester you all night.
Instead, speak loud and clear, use hand signals if necessary to further illustrate your point, but most importantly, be gentle. We Middlebury boys may look rough, tough, handsome, debonair, charming, confident, ripped, and intelligent, but the fact is, ladies, if you don't lend us a clue, who will?
He Said...
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