MUSINGS AND MISHAPS

Author: Lindsey Whitton

"I can't stop smiling," one of my friends said, between giggles and bites of guacamole. "I know," I agreed, stretching out my back, sore from hours of driving, and refilling my glass. "This night has been exactly what I needed."

I didn't realize how much I had missed my friends from high school until we planned an impromptu reunion and all managed to show up. We hadn't been in the same room since the week after graduation almost a year ago, and although we had consciously missed each other as individuals, it wasn't until we got together on Saturday that we realized how much we missed the energy of the group — the laughter of our crew, our crazy, close posse.

I know that for most groups of friends, going to college means missing each other between vacations and planning summers so that each friend's time at home overlaps. My friends and I were in a very different situation and, after graduating from boarding school, we all scattered to our different home states and different colleges. Keeping in touch is always an effort, but when you don't live within thirty miles of each other, it's even harder.

In this age of rapid communication it seems easier than ever to bridge distance through the use of cheap phone rates, e-mail, Instant Messenger and cell phones. But don't let yourself be fooled by weekly electronic chats. Although it is a wonderful way to quickly catch up on basic news, it is not the real thing. You are not connecting with your friends on a personal touch-feel-hear level. Instant Messenger, our generation's most popular form of communication, has much less expression and is far less lasting than traditional written letters and it has none of the power of face-to-face interaction.

My friends and I met outside of Boston, some traveling long distances and staying only a few hours. We missed commitments, we left homework, we carpooled, we took buses, we took trains —one girl even considered hitchhiking. But we all made it. It was a miracle. And it was worth it. No matter how close you are with your college friends, old friends are different. There is something so comforting, reassuring and rejuvenating about spending time with people who have known you for more than a few years.

It is wonderful to be able to talk about old issues and laugh about how unimportant they seem now, to be able to update each other on old acquaintances and gossip about what has happened to them and to be able to talk seriously about complicated problems without having to spend half an hour explaining background.It is also important to see how your closest friends have changed and to hear about their new lives. In the space of a few months, one of my friends somehow metamorphasized from a Vermont country girl to a designer-jean, stilleto-heal-wearing president of her soriety rush class. It was hilarious!

I almost didn't go to Boston last weekend. It was the first Saturday back at Middlebury, and I had just driven back from the airport in Boston a few days before. I didn't feel like driving, I didn't feel like leaving Middlebury, I felt like I had a lot to catch up on at college.

When I walked through the door to my friend's house that night, my arms filled with pictures, CDs and gifts, and I was met by my best friends, I realized how important it is to make the effort, to drive the distance and to really keep in touch. Instant messanger doesn't count, e-mail doesn't count and even the phone isn't sufficient. Old friendships are one of the most valuable things we can possess, but they are also one of the easiest things to loose. Don't let the age of communication fool you into thinking that friendships take less work to maintain. Make the effort, drive the distance, really keep in touch.