Transportation for the Intoxicated

Author: Jen LaRosa

It's a Saturday night and you and your friends decide to throw a little shindig. You have the room, the people and the beverages. You are just forgetting one minor detail: you live in A-Frames and the party is at Alpha Delta Phi Anxiety and panic set in. You say to yourself, "How will I ever get there? It's like a whole mile away." Have no fear, for the "drunk bus" is here.

As the horror rises in your throat, you look out the window and see this a gray bus circling the parking lot.

You gather everyone and run down the stairs, hoping it will still be there when you go outside. Luckily, it still is! You run to the bus with a giant smile on your face, open the door, get in, and say, "Take me to the social houses, please!"

But during this intense sequence of events, you might overlook Bruce, the "drunk bus" driver. Everyone has such great respect for this amazing bus that takes them anywhere they want to go on campus, but what about the superman behind the wheel? (Coincidentally, Bruce had a counterpart for a couple of weeks named Wayne.)

I had the opportunity to converse with Bruce and find out a little more about him and his job. He's been working for the College for a very long time and he really enjoys driving students around and helping them out. He was actually going to leave the College this year, but apparently Middlebury liked him so much that he was offered a raise as an incentive to stay on. Don't worry, Bruce has decided to accept the offer and will be staying with us.

Bruce has a set route that he follows every Friday and Saturday night that circles the campus. So if you see him come and go without catching a ride, just stick around for about 15 minutes and he'll be back. That should calm down your panic attack for a while. Bruce also has provisions in the drunk bus for those necessary moments when hunger sets in. He always has some beef jerky and pistachio nuts that he is willing to share with hungry, fidgety students who need something to nibble on while being driven to their destination of choice.

Not only does he have the food and the wheels, but he also has some people watching his back. Bruce apparently has two student "regulators" that like to help him out and keep the appropriate number of students in the bus whenever they catch a ride.

The College is not alone in its appreciation for the bus and its driver. Students of all classes are very grateful to Bruce for his services. Victoria Craig '04 says that, "He is always there right when you need him."

So next time you start feeling a little worried about the party across campus, take a deep breath and look out the window. You are guaranteed to find Bruce and his bus waiting for you soon. Just remember to say "please" and "thank you."