COLUMN What About Bob?

Author: Bob Wainwright

When I awoke this afternoon I looked down at my floor and I realized fairly quickly that I was not yet prepared for the perils associated with leaving my bed. So, not wanting to subject myself to any undue stress, I instead turned my attention to the table next to my bed in search of something to read. My two choices were James Donnelly's "The Great Irish Potato Famine" and The Middlebury Campus. After a careful two-second deliberation, I chose the latter.
So I read my own column a few times, laughed a little bit and eventually decided to go out on a limb and read someone else's writing. That's when I turned to the Opinions section and found an important article written by Sarah McCabe on the atrocities that Middining has incurred upon all of us.
For those of you who may not have read it, here is one of my favorite excerpts: "We want to be able to 'enjoy healthy, delicious fare such as grilled meats, freshly tossed pastas and a constant, varied supply of vegetarian and vegan dishes.'" I imagine our parents paying the 40 grand a year might agree with that, too." Sarah! You just hit the hammer on your head! … I mean, you just hit the nail on the head! That's exactly what I want, and moreover, how dare Middlebury deprive me of these things? The nerve of them!
I also agree with you when you describe the crispy cubes as "sickly looking potatoes sitting under heat lamps." Personally, I'm reading a book right now that talks about how one million Irish died in the 1840s because they couldn't grow any potatoes, and let me tell you, this is so much worse.
I think Sarah's most important point, however, comes when she describes going to Ross for breakfast at 10:30, when there was only cereal and doughnuts to choose from. She explained, "So we ate some cereal and sadly waited for 11 o'clock to arrive, and of course by then we weren't even hungry anymore."
Of course you weren't Sarah! How could you have been? If I sat around for half an hour waiting for hot food to arrive, there's no way I would still be hungry by the time it was ready. The human body simply wasn't meant to function in such a way. It's as though Middlebury's trying to tell us: you should eat only when you aren't hungry. At least, that's the way it comes across with the 7 a.m.-9:30 a.m. breakfast hours and 11 a.m.-2 p.m. lunch hours. Ah Sarah! Ah humanity!
My only problem with Sarah's article is that she was simply not far reaching enough in her criticism. After all, her statement that "what had been mediocre has now become atrocious" left me with the impression that Middining has actually done certain things correctly in the past. And to that I say, "Hogwash!"
What we students here at Middlebury need... Nay, what we deserve is a one-on-one dining service that caters to each person individually. I am sick and tired of collecting my own food and clearing my own tray. In fact, I'm fed up with bringing the fork to my mouth. And Sarah's article finally made me realize that, with what tuition is nowadays, I should be getting spoon-fed at least three meals a day.
I understand the argument that part of the point of college is to prepare its students for the real world. But, c'mon people, what's the rush? It's about time somebody stood up and said, "Giving us four dining halls, pizza and stir fry at every meal, ice cream throughout the day, coffee, salad bars, a panini machine, bagels, wrapped sandwiches, meat, the stuff that people who don't eat meat like, doughnuts, cereal, cake, vegetables, chocolate milk and a great staff just … What was my point? Oh, yes. All that stuff just won't do."
Thus, I propose the following solution. For anyone who feels strongly that they, too, have been wronged, let's all get together some morning next week in Ross, say, around 8:30 a.m. That way, we can discuss this debacle over that new French Vanilla coffee they have in there, and perhaps some croissants as well.
Yet, based on the talk that has been going around campus this year, one would conclude that the number has increased dramatically.
While it may seem as though cellular usage has been around for quite some time, the dominant trend it has become among college students is relatively recent. In an article from Youngmoney.com University of Massachusetts senior Regan McKendry writes, "I remember when I first got my phone in the fall of 1999 and my friends were still in the dark. Now, the unusual college student is one who doesn't have their own mobile phone."
That sentiment is also held by a large number of Middlebury seniors who feel as though they have witnessed a complete turnaround in their four years of college. Jeff Martin '03 explained, "Three years ago, you wouldn't see a single phone on campus. Now it seems like it's everyone and their brother [using them]."
Senior Erik Gilbertson is one Middlebury student who carries a cell phone at all times, but is quick to point out he is not a huge fan. "I wish it were freshman year again," Gilberts explained. "But the simple fact is that you need them when you're living off campus. This is the only way people back home can talk to me."
For students living off campus, cell phones have certainly become the method of choice for keeping in touch with people who are long-distance. In an August 24 Washingtonpost.com article, Travis Larson, a spokesman for the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association explained that for students renting houses or apartments with numerous friends, cell phones are logical. "Just imagine the nightmare at the end of the month trying to divide up the phone bill," Larson said.
But for students living on campus, cell phones are quickly becoming the cheapest and easiest method as well. Years ago, universities and colleges could easily make money serving as mini phone companies. By charging more than what they paid for the service, but less than local carriers, such schools became wholesalers. Middlebury, for instance, offers its students the ability to charge long distance calls to their pin bills and has done so for years.
Over time, however, this service has lost its customers. In the mid-nineties, students began to use calling cards, which were geared towards the youth population. Now, wireless companies have used the same approach through bargains such as unlimited weekend and nighttime minutes. Students are some of the quickest people to latch on to new technology and the result has been an overwhelming increase in cellular usage.
According to the same Washingtonpost.com article, this trend has had serious consequences for many universities around the country. "At the University of Rhode Island, student telephone billing has dropped from about $800,000 a year five years ago to just $100,000." And while the figures at Middlebury have not been calculated, the office of the comptroller did report that the usage of the College's phone services has dropped over the past few years.
Three years ago, one of the SGA's primary goals was to reduce college phone rates. And while that objective was achieved, the entire issue has nearly become moot in the years since. Schools such as Middlebury will most likely continue to offer long-distance service, but will view it as a service rather than a revenue source.
Most students at Middlebury with wireless plans use their phones because of the long-distance service, such as Kristin Baker '04.5 who explained, "It's much cheaper than Middlebury's phone service." But Middlebury students gave other reasons as well. Some stated that they keep a cell phone for when they travel, while others cited emergency calls as their only use in keeping one. Very few students, besides those who live off campus, use their cell phones for local calls.
Despite the large number of cellular users at Middlebury, there does remain a stigma attached to those who use their cell phones while walking to and from class, and worse yet, in class. Moreover, there is a general concern among older Middlebury students that it is the younger cl
asses that are the culprits.
Tim Marks '03.5 was one of the few students polled who did use his cell phone while walking on campus. He cited talks with his mother as the primary reason for that. "People will look at you when you're doing it [talking on a cell phone] and think 'What are you doing,'" Marks explained. "But at the same time, I don't see the big deal. Still, I do feel a bit weird doing it sometimes."
Other students were equally as vocal in their dislike of wireless phones. Dave Hawkins '05 stated, "I hate it when people spend time on their cell phones when they're with friends. It's kind of ridiculous."
At this point in time, most students have not been in a class where a phone has gone off, but there have been incidents. Mike Frissora, a senior who does carry a phone on him but turns it off during classes, spoke of the time a phone went off in his economics class, taught by Professor Pardee. "I think what surprised everyone the most was that she actually answered it, and then walked out of the classroom," Frissora explained. "All Professor Pardee said though was, 'Must be Goldman Sachs.'"
Other students questioned explained that they will keep their phones on "vibrating mode" during classes, and if they are called they will check to see who it is, before deciding what to do. Four different students said that they would answer calls from their parents, even if they were in the middle of class.
Perhaps the most interesting thought on the subject though comes from University of Massachusetts student Regan McKendry who writes, "It's a simple method of still being able to be reached anyplace anytime without interrupting your exciting lecture on why some guy, who ruled a European country that doesn't exist anymore, thought that rice was cool."
Luckily, one would have to question the entire student body at Middlebury before receiving a response that would even approach McKendry's statement. But perhaps a Middlebury campus that resembles that of Georgetown or Columbia is not far down the road. As wireless companies continue to expand their services and students become ever more attached to their summer cell phones, it may soon be the Middlebury professors who are asking in class, "Can you here me now?"