COLUMN What About Bob?

Author: Bob Wainwright

This morning at breakfast my good friend explained to me that the future of old people will be a much quieter one. "Scientists are now making tremendous advances in the realm of health care," he explained. "And with regards to weather, meterologists will soon have technology that will make their reports correct every time."
"What does that have to do with old people, though?" I asked.
"Don't you see?" He seemed incredulous. "Old people are always talking about their ailments or the weather. But in the future, there won't be any aches and pains and forecasts will be dominated by facts, not guesses."
"So what you're saying is that old people will have nothing left to talk about."
"Exactly."
"You've got a point," I said. "But what brought this all about?"
"Eighty-four years ago today World War I ended," my friend replied.
"Which means …?" I said.
"Today is Veterans Day."
Indeed it was Veterans Day, and I felt a mild sense of shame having forgotten. However, after reminding myself that I had forgotten my sister's birthday, my parents' birthdays , my parents' anniversary and (as I learned shortly after leaving breakfast) my zipper to my pants, my sense of shame disappeared.
Despite my own ignorance, Veterans Day is an important one for our country. My generation has not been faced with the possibility of being called into service, a possibility that was a reality for many of our fathers and grandfathers.
But I will say that the word "veteran" may be misleading. For those of you, like my friend, who associate a veteran with old age, think again. I have two grandfathers, both of whom fought in World War II, and they are two of the youngest men I know.
One of them likes to spend his free time in Montana, hiking, fishing and hunting. The other spends his vacations scuba diving in Florida. My father's father is so young- looking and charming with the ladies, that I have never dated a girl who did not tell me she was using me to get to him. Meanwhile, my mother's father turned to me not so long ago and answered my question about his lady friends by stating, "Bob, I've had ladies chase after me all my life. It's gotten old." He then proceeded to join my friends in our pick-up soccer game.
Most recently, one published a book on World War II and the other helped reintroduce the wolf in Montana. Tell these men to slow down, and they'll speed up. Tell them they're old, and they'll beat you up. And as long as each man is still capable of pinning me with a head lock, "Veterans Day" and "old" are two — check that — three words I'll never associate together.