COLUMN What About Bob?

Author: Bob Wainwright

Dr. Seuss Visits Middlebury

Dr. Seuss: Here am I at Middlebury. Who is this in such a hurry?
Mark: My name is Mark as you can tell. It's written on my North Face shell. You're awful old. You look just like my teacher from Intro Psych.
A teacher I am surely not. What's that you hide, could it be pot?
It's for my nerves as you can see. It could be yours, just pay my fee.
Throw out your stupid drugs young man, before I hit you with this pan. Have you no clue on who am I? I'm Dr. Seuss. I do not lie.
Well then, Doc. You and I shall go, towards my car. We'll walk on snow. Be careful now, they have not plowed. Ooops! Was that your head that hit so loud?
My head is fine despite the blood, although I landed with a thud. Let's quickly walk far from this place, before my hip pops out of place.
That SUV right there is mine, parked behind the handicapped sign. This ticket from security, will be appealed assuredly.
This seat is nice and conforming -- Worth the risk of global warming.
Our first stop will be LaForce. "Commons" is etched on the front of course. In Ross, we eat our gourmet food, while elsewhere meals are rarely chewed.
These buildings seem to be connected. Residents here must be affected. With everything linked it is implied, there is no need to go outside.
Mead Chapel is on our right. Speakers come and people fight. Ari Fleischer was one such guest, giving way to a big protest.
Watch out for the pedestrian there! He's walking across. He does not care!
You understand this is Vermont. Pedestrians do whatever they want. They never look but always cross. Hitting one would be no big loss.
Take me where the sports teams meet. Thirteen titles -- quite a feat. You beat opponents and take your bow, but then you lose to a purple cow?
Up ahead is our big white bubble. Fletcher's roof was loads of trouble. Fragments fell on students' heads, filling up the health center's beds.
I can't believe your complex here. The road is icy, watch how you steer. Thank you very much for the tour. Onward now to the College Store.
I'm glad you've had a good time here. Can I interest you in a beer?
Just simply drop me at The Grille. Beer sounds nice, but I've had my fill. At KDR a keg they had. I won at pong. They're very bad.
Dr. Seuss, it has been a treat. A man like you is hard to beat. Make sure you're back before too long. Return when our endowment's strong.
In that case it will be awhile. This I tell you with a smile. It's important to wear warm clothes. Trust me because I froze my toes.