COLUMN Sex and the College

Author: Andrea La Rocca

For the new year of 2003, you resolved to work out more often and lose your beer belly (ah, yes, the freshman fifteen) in time for spring skiing. But since J-term started, you've partied nearly every night and have barely been able to drag yourself to class, let alone to the gym.
Or, perhaps, you resolved to be less stressed; until, of course, you realized that enrolling in organic chemistry for Winter Term was the worst mistake of your life. Maybe you just resolved to be happier, more content and more relaxed; and maybe your Saturday morning walk-of-shame left you with D) none of the above.
Is 2003 already a bust? Not at all! Try the Middlebury way to lose weight, reduce stress, and feel better. How?
Sex. More sex. Lots of sex. Keeping warm under the sheets sex.
Part of the reason you never make it to the gym is because you don't want to get out of your warm bed. So stay there and burn calories at the same time.
Half an hour of sex burns 150 calories, which is comparable to half an hour of weight training (burns 153 calories) or even half an hour of McCullough dancing (burns 129 calories). And that's just sex at a moderate level; for all you kinky Midd-kids out there, the exercise is even better. Sex provides the same benefits as any workout, including improved circulation, lowered cholesterol and the release of endorphins (those things that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside).
Speaking of which, stop studying orgo and make some chemistry with another Middkid instead--the sex will reduce your stress.
Al Green knew what he was talking about: studies show that people who frequently "get it on" deal with stress more effectively. Plus, sex will help you sleep better at night, which makes you more able to handle the coming day. You will also get the added benefit of making a new friend when you wake up with your random hook-up the next morning.
Last but not least, the intimacy of sex will increase your sense of well-being and overall happiness. Women are especially affected by sex. As crazy as it sounds, a S.U.N.Y. study reports that women who frequently come in contact with semen are less depressed than those who infrequently do.
The catch, though, is that the intimacy that can cause this boost in your well-being can only be achieved in a secure, lasting relationship. There is no way around it -- the Saturday morning walk-of-shame is still going to leave you feeling, well, shameful.
So, Middlebury, if you want to lose weight, reduce your stress and be happier in 2003, resolve to have more sex this year. Lots more. Sounds like a resolution you can keep, right? Sure, unless you're like the junior who responded with the exasperated,
"What do you think I've been trying to do for the last three years???"

All facts and figures are from "Ï5 Reasons Sex is Good For You" by Laura Snyder.