COLUMN Zigs' Picks

Author: Zachariah Allen

And so, we roll along into the conference championships in this confused and twisted NFL season. With the exception of the Titans, who miraculously turned their ramshackled bandwagon around midseason to win 11 out of 12, the results have been entirely predictable. For all the nonsense this season -- the Rams looking like the Cardinals, the Texans winning four games, the Bears failing miserably and disgracefully -- the teams that everyone said would play for the Superbowl are in a position to do so: the Bucs, Eagles, and Raiders.
At this point, it would be foolish of me to try and pick out the winners of these games. Over the course of this season I have been embarrassed and humiliated over and over by my countless errors and my persistent inconsistency. I saw no problem in whipping myself into a drunken stupor and then writing things like "the Bears should take Chris Chandler, all his possessions, and publicly throw them into the nearest grain thresher."
I never really put much thought into what I was doing, and I soon became about as effective as Jim Miller trying to escape a mad weak side rush by two Eagle linebackers. Now that I've admitted my seemingly illustrious title of "staff writer" is a farce, and that I write an extra 200 words for each column in the knowledge that at least that much will be removed by the censors, let's get back on track.
It was late Sunday afternoon when Chap Pennington dropped back on third down and threw a hideous-looking ball past his unguarded tight end.
The game was over, right there in the middle of the third quarter. The Raiders perked up like a gang of wolves who had just discovered speed and utterly dominated the Jets for the rest of the game.
I think the Raiders will win the Superbowl. They seem to crack into and out of action at odd times, but when they are playing to their capacity, they look unstoppable.
Their frequently questioned secondary shut down the hottest quarterback in the NFL when it counted, their running game is solid and they have the MVP.
As for the wretched filth that has slithered to the top of the NFC after years of ineptitude and incompetence, there's not much to say. I loathe both of these franchises as a rule.
It will be a stain on American sports if that twisted group of malefactors gets to play in front of 600 million people for a national title.
The Bucs aren't much better, but at least their secondary hasn't been instructed to go around spearing helpless wide recievers, as have the Eagles'.
This game should be played underground, out of the public eye.
I'll take the Eagles.