Beirut, Patagonia and Waffle Irons UVM Student Reflects on Visit to His Neighbors Down South

Author: Robert Walker

Middlebury is very far away from us here. The drive is short on Route 7, but I felt as if on safari whilst I visited their pastured campus this past weekend. I drew from my brief stay several observations. For one, Ansel Adams would take pictures of their scenery. The sweeping views are taken out of impressionist paintings. No one captures UVM's East Campus in photographs.

For another, I didn't see one skateboarder. Middlebury's sidewalks are concrete, while ours are asphalt, and we have many more of them. Any "green" on our campus is strapped down by dozens of paths, many of which, were there to have been foresight mixed into the campus vision, would not have been lain.

Our distinguished president has thus hit the nail on the head with his campus beautification projects. Middlebury's landscaping is not prettier, it's simply better imagined and realized.

On Thursday the lawn in front of Waterman hissed at me fiercely. Landscapers were pumping some craziness into our air. I don't know what they were piping through our lawn but it was making too much noise for grass.

And not to make anyone at UVM jealous, but right now Middlebury's crab apples are exploding caps of red, and they're quiet. Luckily, we covered over our stumps with grass expediently, and we can see great.

Their rooms don't make you want to kill yourself either and their food is wholesome, though still laced with laxative (perhaps one less harsh than ours?). I did notice that their waffle iron was terrible, a total piece of junk.

And I saw some mean people in their dining hall, reminding me of my high school and this nasty kid I went to school with. You should have seen the look on these kids' faces when my friend broke the waffle iron. They must have good waffle batter down there or something.

Dining hall walls were occupied with Van Gogh reprints. I didn't see many bug zappers. They hardly ever check ID (unlimited meal plans for all), let alone guard the door, and they'd probably let one bring a shopping cart in there if one were so inclined. I used to sneak bananas out of Harris-Millis thinking I'd gotten back at UVM for all the overpriced waste.

I noticed a lot of high-end outdoor apparel: Patagonia and Arcteryx to our North Face, though they sport the North Face, too, and they still wear flip-flops as well. We'll see who freezes longest. Their school is smaller so my crowd attracted looks during our visit. I think they could tell we were from up the road.

Mostly, though, we look alike - our bodies resemble each other's in the ways one would expect. I think I saw a lot of A&F and J.Crew, but that is the fashion these days.

"Way fewer fans in the windows," my friend remarked. It's hard to tell who drinks harder - they're pretty serious about their Beirut. They have the space and the freedom to congregate and socialize in each other's rooms, and the security doesn't pack heat. Instead, the students have taken to carrying water guns. I can't explain the game associated with it, but it's a bit like a desperado movie. Kids evidently write for their school paper. So that's nice.

Basically it's like a safari because everyone there is in that world, much like we are here in our own climate. We are not different, but our surroundings are. Their world may have more money, but we have more parking enforcement officers.