Novice gym goers must tread lightly An in-depth look at the awkwardness that can ensue at the gym

Author: Isabel Yordan

In our last article, Nura and I tackled the important issue of winter hook-ups. As you may recall, there was a mention of the winter-poundage as a powerful technique used to keep warm during the long Vermont winters. This may not appeal to many, and as such I thought to write a follow- up article. Now, my partner in crime is abroad at the moment, but I am going to try and impart some wisdom without her. On that note, here is my disclaimer (and those of you who know me will agree with this): I am almost clueless without Nura, so do not take what I say too seriously.

There is only one sure-fire way to fight the battle against the winter-poundage, if you choose to do so. Go to the gym. If you are a Middlebury student, it's likely you already do go, but I thought I would put together a guide for any beginners. The gym can be daunting and as a somewhat new user, I know the anxiety of trudging down to Kenyon. It's important before you go down to the gym to take a deep breath and think to yourself "I can do this." Abby Friedman '07 said "The key to working out at the gym is to act completely focused on whatever you happen to be doing, even if it's just walking to the water fountain."

I'm sure some of you reading this right now think that I am being a drama queen. It's just the gym, right? Wrong. The Middlebury gym, at any given time, is packed with people; it's quite a social scene.

The gym is nothing less than intimidating. Let's say you choose to run on the treadmill. First there is the embarrassment of actually finding one that works. Maybe it's just me, but I always feel really stupid during this part of the adventure. I undoubtedly step onto the treadmill that is off. I press the power button repeatedly, but no, it stubbornly stays off. Once you find a treadmill that actually lets you press the "start belt" button, the real trauma begins. I don't care who you are or how long you've been a cross country runner; there is always someone at the gym who is running faster than you and for longer. And every time you go to the gym you have to deal with that feeling of total inadequacy. Sophomore Sandy Sokoloski said "This school is so damn active, everyone always seems more athletic than you at the gym." There's the paralyzing feeling that everyone is watching you and thinking ,"well she only ran like two miles today at a measly pace of 6.5, what a wimp!" I'm still not over this paranoia, especially since that girl who is running faster and longer than you also hasn't broken a sweat. Bringing me to the real problem with the gym, our darling fitness center is hotter than a sauna and that one fan in the corner just doesn't quite cut it. So after you finish your little run and people are already judging you for you sub-par fitness level, you have to deal with the fact that you wore a grey t-shirt to the gym and now you are all sweaty. Here's a tip that took me a little too long to find for myself, wear white shirts to the gym. So you get off your treadmill, wipe your face on your shirt, catch your breath, look up, and see him. Oh yeah, it's him. Either the boy that you accidentally confessed your love to when you were drunk last Friday, the boy that you hooked-up with a couple weeks ago and haven't seen since (awkward) or the biggest crush of your life. Either way it's the boy that you envisioned seeing again when you looked so perfect, yet so causal. You figured you would see him when you had the armor of all your friends with you, laughing at your jokes so that he would know how funny and desirable you are. Well, life just doesn't go that way. You have to see him at the gym when you are a little drippy with sweat and all your makeup is gone. If you are really lucky, you will see all of them at the same time and be paralyzed under the weight of your own awkwardness. My only advice here is to just walk away. Just walk away.