Column as I see 'em

Author: JEFF PATTERSON

Two hundred-fifty pound David Wells took the mound and maybe some off of it in the time it took for him to throw his 80 pitches, when he opposed the Yankees' 6-10 Randy Johnson. It is arguable that Johnson looked better with a mullet.

Both of these over-40 lefties have anything but perfect physiques, yet both have thrown perfect games in their careers. Boomer Wells, with his well-balanced diet of Snackwells and Indian Wells Majovie Gold Premium Lager, and the Big Unit, who is ganglier than a ganglion, are super pitchers, but not supermodels.

Many Yankee fans chose to boo from la mer of blue seats when Boomer walked to the visitor's bullpen in order to warm-up. Wells blew on his hand like it was part of his pitching motion, yet opted for short sleeves in the 42-degree weather. He appeared unable to achieve what he had set-out to do: warm-up. He showed signs of a brain freeze when he walked-in the fourth run of the game.

The real reason Boston needs to look in the mirror is so its top-notch fans can read the hidden message that is written across the club's road uniforms: (Do) NOT SOB. The Curse has been reversed. Last year, the Beantown Boys looked even worse in their 7-2 loss, on a Sunday night to the Baltimore Orioles. From there they went on to win the World Series. The Red Sox haven't won an Opening Day game since 2000.

The first two games of this bitter rivalry were started by National League off-season acquisitions. Carl Pavano (Marlins), the former Red Sox prospect that allowed Boston to acquire Pedro Martinez from the Expos and Matt Clement (Cubs) followed Johnson (Diamondbacks) and Wells (Padres) for the second game of the season. Jay Payton (Padres), Matt Mantei (Diamondbacks) and Edgar Renteria (Cardinals) are now Red Sox, having come over from the NL, while the Yankees brought over Jaret Wright (Braves), Tony Womack (Cardinals) and Mike Stanton (Mets). The number of National League acquisitions for these AL powerhouses raises a question: why would top contenders like the Braves, Cardinals, Cubs and Mets give up star players to their potential opponent in the World Series? Times have changed since the days when baseball players used to stay in the same league for their careers. It wasn't just that the players remained on the same team. They also stayed in the same league. The All-Star game really counted, because fans would root for the league in which their players played. However, now with 19 games against division rivals, general managers have recognized that it would not benefit them to face their former stars over and over again in the regular season.

Hopefully, Sunday night's outcome will be reversed during the remainder of the season, and David Wells with start to break pitching records, while Randy Johnson will only break mirrors.