Column as I see 'em

Author: JEFF PATTERSON

Hail Mary! Doug Flutie will be backing-up Tom Brady this year as the New England Patriots try for their third Super Bowl in four years. Flutie will be looking to add a Big Game ring to his three Canadian Football League Grey Cups.

I think that Doug Flutie running a naked bootleg is prettier than Heidi Klum, naked, with only boots on her legs.

Unlike Karl Malone, who elbowed his way out of Utah for the Lakers, this transaction, which came as a result of the Chargers releasing Flutie, does not add any salt to the wounds of a traditional sports fan. It's hideous (not Heidious) to see Hall of Famers leave their team to try to get a ring. Roger Clemens did it several years back, making many fans hurl after he agreed to hurl for the hated Yankees. If you really want a ring, take $10 go to Fenway Park, and enter yourself in the raffle for an authentic, personalized, 2004 World Series ring. You've got a 1:200,000 chance.

In this case, Flutie's going home. He lives in Natick, Mass. and is a big Red Sox fan. He hustles more than seltsuh bubbles when the bottle is reversed. What's not to like about him?

San Diego had a case for letting go of Flutie: Drew Brees got the team to the playoffs last year and his back-up is the highly skilled Phillip Rivers. Flutie would only get in the way of the Wind and the Water, and might have caused Schottenheimer's schooner to sink.

Flutie - whose favorite movie is "Shrek," loves pepperoni pizza and sweatpants more than any other article of clothing - is just a 42-year-old kid. The second string quarterback will wear number 2, the same number he wore in his previous three-year stint with the Pats.

This quarterback has thrown more to charity than to his receivers, raising tons of money. Wouldn't it be nice if Magic Man could also raise the 22 inch, seven pound Lombardi trophy in Detroit? Tweny-two was the number Flutie wore at Boston College. Flutie had a seven stitched on his Bills and Charger uniforms. Yeah, that's roit.

Flutie majored in computer science and speech communications at Boston College. Both could come in handy. Coach Belichick's brain is a computer, and hopefully Flutie's biggest contribution will be calling plays from the sideline. Tom Brady will lead the Patriots, but he will follow Flutie's veteran leadership. Once home field advantage is locked up, it will be exciting to see Flutie scramble around in the pocket, as if he were a hand searching for the house key.

He is man enough, this Heisman winner, to play in the NFL. Not For Long, most critics said, but he has proved them wrong. This is will be his 12th year in the NFL and 20th in professional football. His completion percentage over the past two years is right around what it's been for his career, and his career yards per attempt is identical to Brady's.