Ball 5

Author: Justin Golenbock

Three years ago, while voting in Barney Frank for another 20 years, I innocently checked "yes" on question four, effectively banning the abusive sport of greyhound racing in the state of the Massachusetts.

This conscientiousness, I determined, would reverberate throughout my actions for the rest of my life. Sports would become my medium for protesting the powerful and inspiring the innocent.

When the euphoria wore off a couple weeks ago, marked by some Pulitzer worthy stuff on performance enhancement abuse, I resolved to return to my roots.

Once again turning to unofficial and unpaid Campus research consultant Niall Sullivan '06 for assistance and moral support, the two of us grabbed a pair of timely tickets from Southwest's "DING!" sale and hopped a plane to Qatar, the small, oil-rich nation bordering Saudi Arabia that, since 1972, has hosted the world's most prominent and extravagant camel races.

What the two of us had hoped to discover was not which rider was in line to win the Golden Spear of the Challenge Race, but rather to what extent H.H. the Emir Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani had kept his promise to outlaw the exploitation of child riders as young as four years old, who had been kidnapped from the Indian subcontinent and starved to make for lighter riders.

Little did we expect to find that the innovative Sheikh Hamad was on the verge of eradicating this horrific practice by replacing all child riders under 18 with...you guessed it: Swiss robots.

Signing an historic $1.37 million contract with the Swiss Robotics firm "K-Team," Sheikh Hamad has already agreed to purchase 100 robots that, at 57 lbs. each, are dramatically poised to reshape the sport.

On July 13, seven camels paced the track in Doha, Qatar in the historic, first-ever all-robotic competition, with their attached riders being given commands via satellite remote control. With a push of the button, the robots showed precision in steering the reigns and bringing down their crops.

The Sheikh's progressive example is already being felt around the region, with the United Arab Emirates and Oman already announcing plans to overhaul its own camel racing tradition with similar reforms. As the "K-Team" enters its final stage of production, I was glad to be on hand to witness the miracle of technology, as these cute little metallic dolls showed that even machines can be trained to whip animals.

One hummus and papaya salad later, we were back in the air, waiving progress goodbye with pen in hand, and beautiful phrasing in pocket.