Mad About Midd A cell phone user's code

Author: Dave Barker

My 2.8-ounce Samsung sch-a630 cell phone came in a non-descript box last week. Not since the movie Cast Away has FedEx had such an important package to deliver. Now that friends and family are at the touch of the "send button," every available free moment begs a phone call.

But, before you hear my backpack vibrating in class or see me walking with my hand glued to my ear - this means I probably won't see you - I'm taking the opportunity to create a Middlebury cell phone code. Although this code doesn't require a signed oath with each call, the following pledge should be kept in mind the next time you forgo the landline.

Article I: I ______ will shut my phone off in the dining hall. So you're able to do a problem set and deconstruct Paradise Lost at the same time? Well good, that doesn't mean you can handle talking on the phone and ladling your turkey tetrazzini onto your plate. An answered cell phone at the table kills conversation.

Article II: I ______ will talk on my cell phone with full acknowledgement of the possible harmful effects of such usage. We're not talking collisions on the interstate here. My cell phone manual has a nice section on radio frequency signals, the energy emitted with each call. These are the same signals that in higher doses, heat body tissue. But even low levels of these signals have been shown to bring on cancer. Remember to turn your phone off in explosive environments like gas stations. Turns out the release of radio signals in such settings could give new meaning to the phrase, "blowing up."

Article III: I ______ will shut my phone off in class. Middlebury students aren't as obnoxious as the sociology professor I had in Spain who stopped mid-lecture to take a call. But every so often, you see a student, who knowing their ringing or vibrating phone is buried deep in a backpack, starts to wish that the college installed trap doors in the floor for quick disappearing acts.

Article IV: I______ will shut my phone off at the library. I heard a rumor that the college put in a reception-killing device in the building, but the Verizon utility men must have hid a tower behind that new yellow mural because students can do as much talking as thesis writing. If you take a call, retreat farther away than the stairwell to answer it. Try just outside the library entrance. I suggest building a sound-proof glass cube akin to airport smoking lounges, where students can look in at their peers and wonder if they are organizing dinner plans or the latest shipment from Bogotá.

Article V: I ______ hereby agree to honor the cell phone code and understand the repercussions for any infractions:

First offense: Spend the day salting the path up to Mead Chapel in early February.

Repeat offense: Job-shadowing the custodial staff on Monday morning at Tavern.

All other offenses, you're grounded - get to know your landline for a year.