Moqa sex talk turns heads, turns on

Author: Dina Magaril

Though GAYpril festivities at Middlebury may have started off on shaky ground - members of the community allegedly tore down and vandalized posters last week - the events hosted thus far by members of moqa have been resoundingly successful. Last Thursday's Gay Sex Panel Discussion - which, according to moqa's adverstising campaign, would reveal "the truth about lesbian sex" - was well-attended and well-received. The panel was held in John M. McCardell, Jr., Bicentennial Hall and was moderated by Colin Penley '06.

Blank cards were given to those students in attendence so they could write down questions about gay sex. These were fielded by the panel, which was organized by moqa and comprised of Wonnaccott CRA Marshall Traverse, Jillian Weiser '06, first-year Nick Ballen and Tamara Vatnick '07.

The panel, officially entitled "Straight Talk About Gay Sex," defined its mission as striving to answer any questions both gay and straight students might have about sex in order to familiarize people with the subject. "Straight people often don't know what gay sex is really like," said Weiser, "and misunderstanding often breeds fear and prejudice." Vatnick introduced the panel, talking about the often inaccurate and limited portrayal of gay sex in the mainstream media and even in our current school system health classes. "There is a lot of mystery and ignorance surrounding [gay sex]. People are afraid of what they don't know, so we thought that some of people's homophobia might stem from not knowing how gay sex works," said Vatnick.

In order to create a comfortable atmosphere among students who might not be used to talking candidly about sex, Weiser asked the attendees to repeat after her as she listed words commonly associated with sex. Weiser's icebreaker effectively relieved any tension in the room and opened up the forum to an evening filled with honest answers, many of which were inspired by the personal experiences of panel members. Though most of the panel agreed that they felt comfortable answering any of the questions asked, they were quick to note that they did not consider themselves "gay sex experts."

"It was sometimes difficult to answer questions, because just as one straight person cannot speak for all straight people in terms of their sexual practices, we did not want to make broad generalizations like 'this is how gay people have sex,' because there are many different opinions and preferences," said Vatnick.

Question topics included definitions of sex, what different types of sex feel like, sex toys and where to buy them, and debunking common misconceptions about gay sex. Panelists were quick to respond to questions about sex, and equally quick to emphasize the importance of practicing safe sex. "[At] a time when having sex can mean contracting HIV and other scary STDs, it's really important to be able to talk about it," said Vatnick. As part of promoting safe sex during GAYpril, Midd 8 collaborated with health center services to provide free and confidential non-needle HIV testing at the Parton Health Center.

In the midst of the crowded auditorium, many faces seemed all too familiar. Panel members expressed regret that more students who were not already openly gay or friends of the moqa community did not attend the discussion.

"I wish that more people who were not either openly gay or very liberal had attended - that is, I wish that people who might be more conservative would be willing to take a chance and hear what we have to say," said Vatnick.

Traverse voiced a similar concern as he commented on the overwhelming majority of female students and lack of males attending the panel. "I'm not sure why gay or straight male students passed up a great opportunity to learn about prostate-induced ejaculations, I thought they would be lined up around Bi-Hall to get that information," joked Traverse.

However, the real issue - a general lack of open forums dealing with sex-related topics - is not as light of a subject for Middlebury students.

"I think speaking so bluntly about gay sex was a wonderfully bold act by moqa, considering how closeted this campus is when it comes to talking openly about any type of sexuality," said Chrissy Lau '06, a student who attended the panel.

When asked whether there are enough outlets for gay students at Middlebury, the panelists expressed a variety of sentiments. Weiser stated, "moqa does a great job for what it is, [but] it's mostly run and attended by pretty out students, and we're leaving out a whole group of student who are questioning or closeted or in the process of coming out. It's something we're still discussing and haven't found any way to address."

Traverse commented on the focus of moqa and expressed hope that a group will be established on campus geared toward gay interests and socializing - not just toward activism. "There are a significant amount of queer students at Middlebury, but most do not participate in moqa because they are not looking for a gay activism setting," Traverse observed. "The activism needs to be left in the hands of people who are passionate about it."

Gaypril events will be taking place throughout the month of April. Yesterday's "Day of Silence" commemorated the silencing of the gay community by asking participants to take a vow of silence for the day. Students and faculty are encouraged to participate in all or any of the Gaypril events, and can start by wearing particular colors on assigned days - Monday, April 17 is "red" day. Students can find the rest of the color week schedules on posters around campus. The moqa Lavender Drag ball is another traditionally well-attended and successful event, coming up on the April 22.