Welcome to Bobby's World

Author: Bobby Joe Smith

Humankind since the dawn of excellence has glorified its heroes. We honor and envy those with superior strength, intelligence, courage, selflessness and perseverance, placing them upon a pedestal from which to imitate us and inspire our talents. Stories get cast into legend, and legend into myth. We honor David for throwing a rock at Goliath and celebrate Columbus' bad navigating.

But some of our greatest heroes continue their extraordinary feats outside the limelight, never getting the recognition they deserve. There exist at Middlebury College two such individuals. Rain, snow, or shine, these weekend warriors fend off hordes of starving students, armed with nothing but a metal spatula and a thin layer of armor (a.k.a. an apron). You thought Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee had it tough.

Together, Alex Bailey and Colin Rause, seniors at the local Middlebury High School, form a duo the likes of which have never been seen inside a cafeteria. Since 2002, when they first started working at Middlebury, the two have honed their omelet-making skills like Jedi Knights, utilizing the force within for the powers of good. From sunrise to the waning hours of mid-day, Bailey and Rause entrench themselves inside their concrete bunker and satiate the onslaught of students zombified by the previous night's activities.

With the dexterity of Michelangelo, Bailey and Rause create their edible masterpieces over the heat of a black circular furnace that cackles and spits back at them. Inside the belly of the beast, fires blaze and white clouds of savory smelling smoke engulf our heroes, yet somehow they manage to keep their cool and form from scratch even our wildest requests. Want your eggs sunny side up, down, or buried underground? No problem! Want your eggs scrambled, whipped, or pureed? They got you covered! Want your omelet to have a smiley face constructed from bits of ham and shredded cheese? Coming right up! I personally request that my omelets be an exact replica of the battle at Gettysburg, and let me tell you, victory has never tasted so good!

But who are Bailey and Rause really? Bailey would have you believe that they are just some average "townies" with a job to do. Riiiigghhtt, and Jesus was just a carpenter! Outside the kitchen, Rause is a two-sport athlete for the high school, while Bailey plays golf from time to time and enjoys long walks on the beach (Battell Beach). And yes, ladies, they're both single! With graduation coming up and their lives at the local high school drawing steadily to a close, who knows what will become of two of the greatest unsung heroes ever to grace this campus? I personally would feel a lot safer knowing they had become brain surgeons. I would let them operate on me any day. Just get them an apron and a spatula and prepare for medical magic!