Overseas Briefing

Author: By Liza Murray

VIETNAM - While studying abroad in Viet Nam for the semester, I had no doubt that I would encounter emotionally demanding and psychologically trying experiences. I had assumed, however, that these occurrences would be catalyzed by the widespread poverty and under-development surrounding me, or by daily reminders of American involvement in the war or even by the pressure of living under a socialist government. With this assessment, I had underestimated the power of everyday social interactions with natives as a source of my personal and cultural edification.

After a month and a half in Viet Nam, I can safely state that my most potent experience has been, literally and figuratively, at the hands of nine elderly Vietnamese women. My host family in Sai Gon threw a housewarming party one weekend and invited a group of friends and relatives, which included a gaggle of small statured yet boisterous grandmothers. En masse, the women entered the living room, saw me and moved as fast as their 70-year-old legs could carry them in my direction. I quickly found myself seated at the dinner table, surrounded, with all eyes and hands on me. As nine wrinkled hands touched my face, I knew that the high-pitched tones were praising the fair skin, highly coveted by Asian women, that my western mind had never considered a particularly attractive characteristic. Continuously, the women jabbered in Vietnamese as if I could understand and found amusement in my obvious disconcertion.

When the food arrived, the serving dishes barely hit the table before I found my bowl filled to maximum capacity. I felt a napkin tucked into my shirt collar and chopsticks positioned into my hand. I could barely take a sip from my water glass before it was filled again to the top. No shrimp went unpeeled and no dish went untouched - I was fed, doted upon, questioned, scrutinized and prodded to the extreme. In a cross-lingual frenzy, these women asked me question after question about myself, the food I was consuming, America and my thoughts on their beloved homeland. I have never received so much concentrated attention and I was simultaneously flattered and flustered. Waiting to see what I would do next, nine pairs of eyes followed each piece of food on its (sometimes failed) journey from my bowl to my mouth. And when my chopstick skills abandoned me and food fell, the whole table would erupt with laughter. After many repetitions of this pattern, my emotional state lay somewhere between embarrassment and good humor at the opportunity to provide an afternoon of enjoyment for these women. I suppose it is reasonable to say that I added as much novelty to their lives as they did to mine.

That afternoon, not only did I receive countless compliments, an array of toothless smiles and approximately five marriage offers to Vietnamese grandsons, I also received a unique and powerful social opportunity that will remain an important memory of my time abroad. Though I can safely say that this makes the list of my life's most awkward and taxing experiences, I have come to look back on those intense few hours not as a scarring incident of culture shock, but instead as a focused insight into the human tendencies that connect us globally. The openness of the Vietnamese people I experienced that day, and still feel on a daily basis, continually erodes the myopic preconceived notion I once held about the culture here. I know now to look to social interactions, not just concrete cultural or historical structures, as the keys to appreciating and immersing myself in a particular place.