Regally Blonde Episode II - Fashion Football

Author: Astri von Arbin Ahlander

Secondhand shopping is a sport. To be more precise, there are three variations of the sport, all demanding their own carefully mastered skill set. Think of it like "football." The word is misleading since its meaning depends on your continent of origin. For you Americans, it means wearing oversized shoulder pads and hugging equally oversized men. For us Europeans, the word spells out long-haired youths with head bands and well-defined calves. The latter is arguably more refined than the former, at least in terms of the fashion on the playing field - how can you forget Italy's Prada designed jerseys in the 2002 World Cup? Therefore, for the purpose of this analogy, we will call thrift store shopping American Football and vintage shopping European Football, i.e. soccer.

Like American football, thrift store shopping demands an explosive strategy rather than endurance. You go in, look around and make the hit. Thrift store personnel often don't know when they have a gem on their hands, and it is in these situations that you have to go for the offensive push. If you aren't fast enough, some other trend sensitive shopper may block you. If you aren't cool enough about the garment in question - thus revealing its true nature as a "catch"- you're likely to get tackled, and tacked with a steep price increase right at the five yard line. In other words, the attack can come from anywhere. Like American football, thrift store shopping is a populist sport. That means you're likely to meet the best and worst, both in terms of items and co-shoppers. It can also be as slow as an American football game. Remember that the greatest gems are often buried the deepest; so be patient. Take a hot dog break. Have a beer. No one in this crowd will judge you if you bring a spit bucket. What to look for in thrift stores - house dresses, high-waisted jeans, oversize knit sweaters. Good spots to hit in Middlebury are Round Robin, Neat Repeats and Retroworks.

Vintage shopping demands an entirely different strategy. Like soccer, this sport is all about stamina. Vintage stores often update their collections, so it's worth revisiting at least once a week to check out the new inventory. Vintage also tends to be on a different price level. But while it may not be bargain territory, it certainly is bargaining ready. Don't be afraid to haggle a little, while still keeping your style. No Zidane tricks, please. More importantly, vintage is most often dry-cleaned, tailored and carefully valued. This means that, just like in soccer, all the items, like the players, are in top physical condition. This can also be a discouraging factor, since your success may depend on your own physical condition. It's a simple fact that people were smaller back in the day. So the best vintage finds are often made in the smallest sizes, while thrift store shopping is big-body friendly - once again, think American football. If you find something that fits you perfectly, ask if there is more from where it came. Often, vintage clothes are bought from estate sales and so the likelihood is high that there is more in your size and style. What to look for in vintage stores - cocktail dresses, handbags and fur. Be sure to check out Bejewelled in Middlebury, Old Gold in Burlington.

The third category of the second hand sport is the yard sale, which should be looked upon as the layman's version of both American and European football. Without the watchful eyes of national broadcasters, these home games can get pretty dirty. The ground rule is foul as much as you want: haggle and haggle hard. But never rummage in anything that smells of urine or sweat. The smell won't come out. And, well, that's disgusting.

Thanks to this hybrid sport, your fashion sense will stay in shape the whole academic year - despite your rural and seemingly shopping-free location. Words of wisdom for the week: go out and play fashion football!