A Campus Guide to Dining Hall Etiquette

Author: Joseph Bergan

There is a problem with the young people today. Too many students believe college is a time of extraordinary change, a time in which the constructs of normal life are excused and students plunge into an ecstasy of exploration. There are too many diversions and not enough manners. We at The Campus, as stealthy observers of our community, have noticed that certain rules must be reasserted if college is to fulfill its true purpose, to mold us into successful and productive ladies and gentleman. Perhaps there is no other place where the attack on civility is more apparent than the dining hall. Read on, for The Campus gives you the official guide to civil conduct within a dining hall.

Before the Meal

Always wash up before coming to the dining hall. Be sure to scrub under the nails, as unsightly dirt is most unappetizing to fellow diners and may help spread disease. Wear appropriate clothing. Shirts, shoes and bottoms are required at all times. Take the time to shower after a practice­­­ - Michael Jordan never spoke to the media before showering and neither should you.

When approaching the food station, it is polite to acknowledge others in the area; however, be sure to pay attention to those you arrived with. While the dining hall may be a busy and fun place, you do not want to make your initial guests feel unwanted or ignored. Refrain from half-heartedly talking to your friends while furtively looking for more exciting or attractive members of the community to converse with. This is no way to make or keep friends.

Recognize that there are usually two lines of identical dishes being offered. That is unless you eat at Ross where pizza is the ubiquitous option. It is proper to explore your options and make lines shorter by going to the second line, which most likely offers the same dish. Be bold. There is nothing wrong with being assertive in the food line.

Recently there has been a disturbing trend in the dining halls concerning trays. Many students today forgo the tray altogether. Proper ladies and gentlemen use trays to organize their food and drink selections and the use of a tray tells your friends that you are confident and organized. But take note, a tray is no substitute for your flatware. Dishes must always be used! Eating like a dog off the tray puts you on the fast track to receiving no Christmas ball invitations.

When selecting your food, recognize that all the food on display is identical to what will be coming out next. The food layed out in front of you is just as good as the one coming in five minutes. It is impolite to stare at a dining services employee when the platter of food is still half full.

One must refrain from line cutting at all times. Cutting is most prevalent when there are "gaps" in a long line and one reaches in to grab some fries or peas. This will severely upset the stomachs of all the students behind you who have the manners to wait in line.

While we could easily publish another volume solely on panini machine etiquette, we will try to tackle the subject briefly here. The panini machine is like a non-denominational chapel. All groups use it but for different purposes. For some, a tall sandwich is tops, usually on a bagel, or fresh cut bread. Some prefer the burrito/wrap model, while others are strict quesadilla enthusiasts. The panini machine is meant to be shared. Try to double or triple with like sandwiches, and only press if the other party is present and has given the rightful consent to said press. It is quite impolite to ruin a sandwich that panini masters have created, because you prefer a pressed sandwich while they were looking for the more lightly glazed effect. Yes, there are Panini masters at this school.

At The Table

The atmosphere of the dining hall is comfortable, so treat it as such. One may gesture wildly with the hands or laugh at a reasonable volume. For breakfast, it is customary for several members of the community to eat alone. If you happen to see a good friend enjoying a scone, politely nod your head and continue to walk by, unless they motion to you with a polite wave. It is impolite to disrupt someone while they are enjoying a private breakfast.

Lunch is a more boisterous affair at the table. Usually students will move in and out of the realm of conversation. Always be polite to new arrivals at the table. You may greet strangers with a firm handshake and introduction. An arrival of a friend is more casual - an inside joke or smile will suffice. For mortal enemies, one should avoid eye contact and refrain from insults. A loud insult will ruin the lunch for everyone, and has been known to upset the stomach.

Dinner is a time for quiet reflection on the long day. Sit in smaller groups, and avoid flipping salt shakers or overeating. Someone at your table may have had a long day, eating two helpings of Smitty's meatloaf may be unnerving.

At brunch, although the previous night's party was raucous, please refrain from shouting lewd subject matter. It is impolite to scream crude and personal matters while a lady or gentleman is peacefully enjoying his or her western omelet. Perhaps a more fitting place for this discussion is in the library, preferably where there are many students working quietly.

Upon Finishing

When a civilized meal has come to an end, it is customary that all guests remove their own trays (see Before the meal) and proceed to the tray station. The dining hall is a place of shared responsibilities. Making one friend pick up the dishes at the table is horribly offensive and terrible etiquette. Perhaps the most egregious of insults is to "tray" another member of the table who may have ambitious kidney systems and has properly excused themselves. "Traying" is an irreverent act when a person adds dishes to a tray or plate that is not theirs in the hope that that person will uphold their responsibilities. Excuses of excessive work, upcoming meetings or imposing deadlines are all insufficient. "Traying" is no way to make friends.

The dish area is a place of finesse, not power. Acknowledge that other guests are also fulfilling their obligation to clean. Trays fit into the tray slots easily, there is no need to cram or shove or cut so that your tray disrupts the process. The tray station may back up, causing delays. Be considerate of those around you and your fellow workers in the dish room. Instead of cutting, simply strike up a conversation with your neighbor. Conversation topics may include the weather, general sports, their weekend or "how crazy" your present situation at the tray station is.

If you have waited a long time at the tray station, there is no need to take out your aggression on the silverware. The receptacle buckets are full of cleaning agents, and "splashback" is highly unsavory. Splashback occurs when one improperly flings his silverware into a receptacle, splashing an unassuming guest. Ladies and gentleman - do not splash back.

Washing up after a meal is polite, but not mandatory. The sanitizer solution is a good option, even though it smells like crude oil.

Finally, one should always give the proper salutations to the dining hall staff. They have provided your daily bread and it is polite to make eye contact and tell them thank you. They are experts at dining hall etiquette and in many ways best able to judge the true ladies and gentlemen of the College.