There's a fly in my creme bruleé

Author: Katie Hylas

What ever happened to boy meets girl, boy asks girl on date or vice-versa? Very few young lovebirds here at Middlebury get to know each other by "dating." Why has this age-old tradition lost its appeal?

Our culture at Middlebury tolerates two types of male-female relations: drunken hook-ups and long-term relationships. I discussed this topic with a residential life staffer who confirmed this. Dating, potentially a useful middle ground, is forgotten. Unless bumping into someone and dancing at SketchCullough can be considered a "date," it is not a prominent art form on campus.

Apparently, this tragic phenomenon is something that Middlebury students lament. Nick Lefeber '08 said with wistfulness, "The world is changing. Why can't it just be like 'The Notebook?'" Women on campus share this sentiment. They long for romance, creativity and excitement. Instead, both sexes are met with beer-drenched cement floors, numb dance floor groping and germy Solo cups.

So why is this our unsavory romantic fate? Generally, Middlebury students blame the dried-up dating scene on two things: the dearth of new faces and the general isolation of the campus. Chris Hansen '08 reasons, "Dating at Middlebury is hard because it's a small pool and it makes it hard to meet new people." Others complained about the lack of things to do. Sure, there are a few good restaurants and various mountains to climb, but Burlington is 40 minutes away.

Strangely enough, schools that aren't restricted by small populations or distance from any city still don't have big dating scenes. Let's examine the University of Michigan, which has over 25,000 students. Ann Arbor is fraught with trendy eateries and movie theaters. Still, dating is limited. Zach Elyachar, a U of M sophmore student reflected, "When one of my buddies said he was going on a date it was kind of a shock." Students don't date, "unless you count going to a party, getting drunk and hooking up a date," he said. Students at peer schools noted similar trends. For instance, Lea Cali '09 at NYU noted that they, too, lack a prominent dating scene. "I think because of the city scene people are more up to hooking up. It's so fast-paced; you might not meet a person again."

People in our generation shy away from traditional "dating" across the board. Explanations for the tendency, however, conflict. What is the real reason? Maybe we like the idea of dating but are lazy and broke. Maybe we're too busy. Maybe our generation is saving all of its collective "dating" stamina for an inevitable crunch in our late twenties, when we resign ourselves to getting serious about finding a suitable mate. So, we'll plaster our pictures on Match.com in a frenzied attempt to find love.

Again, who knows? But for now, our generation is collectively locked at Middlebury and elsewhere in our "non-date" culture. I wonder where it will take us.