In My Humble Opinion From Middlebury to Manhattan

Author: Daniel Roberts

Over the break, I hopped a Greyhound (metal, not fur) and made my way to New York City for a weekend. I got into town around 10 pm, and took a cab to my buddy's apartment on 79th and Lex. I was wearing my beloved, ratty Midd sweatshirt, and I ducked out from the cab to hear, "Hey, Middlebury!" It was Ron Liebowitz.

What are the chances I would run into the president of my college on a random New York street corner late at night? The brief chat itself was not newsworthy (sorry, Liebs). The story took flight when I told my mom what happened, and she asked me if I knew about "six degrees of separation."

The theory is that any two humans are connected to each other through a chain of, at most, six individuals. One author, Frigyes Karinthy, has claimed that he feels like due to this increasing sense of connectedness, the world is "shrinking." Certainly we have all experienced this phenomenon. You meet a girl from Philly one night at a UVM party. Only later do you find out your older brother (1) had a girlfriend at Tufts (2) who ended up marrying a Harvard guy (3) and this girl you just met is his younger sister. Small world, right?

When I heard this idea I thought of my friend who likes to joke that if we all really come from Adam and Eve then technically, every person on Earth is related by blood. Thus, no matter whom you have sex with, it is incest. Sweet theory, I know. And by sweet I mean terrifying.

Ignoring that mess, I like the six degree idea. I like the thought that I am connected to strangers on the street. For whatever reason, I thought next about "The Catcher in the Rye," when Holden finds swear words on a bathroom wall. He laments that if you had a million years, you still could not erase half the graffiti in the world. I realized, if everyone is really connected, why ever be needlessly cruel at all?

I know I sound like Mister Rogers, but stay with me here. All I am thinking is, really, wouldn't the "six degrees" theory be a great argument against all forms of meanness? Racism, sexism, plain old rudeness - why act cruelly toward anyone if that person could be connected to you by only a few precious strands of human relationships?

I agree with those smart dead dudes: the world is shrinking. Through various connections, I hypothetically have acquaintances all over the country; more friends than K-Fed has enemies. Plus, with facebook, you can see precisely how you are linked to someone.

My friend Nick says that at Middlebury, forget six degrees; any two students are probably linked through one single person. Say in Proctor, some Frisbee kid is wearing a dress, and you point and laugh. Then you learn he lives in a suite with the shy girl you crush from Philosophy. Awkward. Now you will have to see him if you ever manage to find yourself in this girl's room. Don't you feel stupid?

So don't be mean to people for no reason. Don't flip off the guy who ran that red light: he is probably late for work, where the bad mood you put him in will cause him to mistreat his secretary, who happens to be the daughter of your dad's golf buddy. Six degrees, baby! I love it. I just hope my friend's incest theory is way off, or we are all going to Hell. Flaming hot Hell.