SexSage

Author: Sage Biester

Masturbation. That's right, I said it. M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N. Let's be honest: we all do it. Especially here at Midd, where we are infamously celibate, masturbation becomes a key part of your routine to stay sane. Who's never gone back to their room just to masturbate? Had a bad day? Solution: masturbate! It's a cure-all along with Vitamin C and a good night's sleep.

What does surprise me is when I meet someone who never masturbates. No offense to those of you who are reading this column, but what gives? If you have a good reason; religious, cultural or otherwise, that's one thing, but there are those out there who simply don't masturbate. It doesn't cross their mind, or they've never tried it. I have even met some people who say they don't because it would take the fun out of sex.

If anything, masturbation is the key to good sex. You have to know how to please yourself before anyone else can do it for you. As Woody Allen famously quipped in his movie Annie Hall, "Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I really love." Truly, it is the only form of safe-sex out there.

It also never ceases to amaze me how much women masturbate. Maybe its because I'm from the Deep South, where women pleasure themselves by baking pies and good girls don't discuss such things, that I'm still surprised when women talk about it. But when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

Generally speaking, men orgasm or (to use a more Campus-appropriate term) ejaculate the majority of the times they have sex, whereas most women have the opposite experience. It is an ordeal for most women to reach orgasm, and can be very frustrating for those of us who simply don't have them during sex. But we still want those orgasms we miss out on, so where do we get them? You guessed it.

Speaking of sex, masturbation is not a singles-only club. Just because you're getting some on a regular basis doesn't mean that you should abstain from pleasuring yourself, or that you have to do it alone. Use your imagination and don't be shy!

The key here is communication and being open to both your partner's and your own desires. Of course, you should never do anything you aren't comfortable with, but there is something to be said for trying new things, so know your limits and discuss them with your partner.

Valentine's Day is on Wednesday, and that means that if you have a significant other on campus, you should be taken care of, and if you're single, then you probably will not be getting anything. But for both groups, it is the perfect day to masturbate. Couples can try something new, and singles can spend some quality time remembering how you don't need anyone else to make you feel good. And, if you have never tried it before, give it a go. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.