SexSage Your roommate and my best friend

Author: Sage Biester

This past Sunday saw Middlebury's annual production of "The Vagina Monologues." Every woman that saw the show left feeling high on vagina pride, and every man that saw it left feeling slightly uneasy and a bit jealous.

Why do women get to have these complicated but ultimately wonderful relationships with their vaginas, and men just get a penis? As my friend Stuart put it, the penis is like a man's roommate - you just have to deal with him. Ultimately, he is his own entity with his own mind, and he does what he wants, sometimes in complete disregard to what you want. You want to go somewhere, but he's not in the mood. You want to bring a girl back to your place, but he's too drunk and you end up hanging out with him instead. He's your buddy, and sometimes he's a lot of fun, but other times he's just a dick.

According to "The Vagina Monologues," and just about every woman I asked, the vagina is too integral a part of who you are as a woman to be thought of as separate from your being. But if I was forced to make an analogy, I would say that a woman's vagina is akin to her best friend - they are so much a part of us that you could hardly talk about one without mentioning the other.

She is there for you when you really need her, and if she was sick or in trouble, you would do anything to help her. But she can also betray you, and you even hate her sometimes. Ultimately, you love her more than you can express, and you know that she will always be a part of your life.

Maybe I'm oversimplifying, but we - men and women - could all understand each other if we remembered these analogies the next time we went on a date or went to bed with someone. Women have to remember that a guy's penis might do something - like lose its erection - and that has nothing to do with her. Trust me, he still likes you, but his roommate just knocked on the door and wants to watch a movie and it threw him off his game. Anytime that has ever happened to me, I got upset, thinking I had done or said something to turn him off. My partner had always assured me it wasn't, but who is going to believe a guy with his pants down? Now after hearing Stuart's brilliant analogy, it all makes sense.

And guys have to remember to treat a woman's vagina like you would treat her best friend - with the utmost dignity and respect. Don't say a word to upset her. I know that I would never get with a guy, much less date him, if my best friend didn't approve. Same goes for my vagina. They are both looking out for your best interest, so always listen to what they have to say.

So what does this mean for sex and dating at Middlebury? I have no idea, but I hope that you have a really great roommate, and that my best friend likes you.