Driving Miss Drunky The unspoken MiddRides code

Author: H. Kay Merriman

From the cold, tired, often intoxicated students chasing after the "big white bus," to the stubborn, insistent, nearly fearless ones who simply step out in front of the moving vehicle, desperate students will do anything to catch a Midd Ride.

"She was saying 'Thank you so much! Let me just kiss you!' and leaning over into the drivers' seat trying to kiss me" says student driver Lizz Herron-Sweet '09 of a gracious girl who entered her Midd Ride.

Others do not understand. Driver Spencer Paddock '09 mimics the reaction of one very confused student he picked up one fateful Sunday night, asking, "Whose car is this? Where are you guys taking me? How did I get in here?"

Although I originally hoped to compile a series of stories more compelling than MTV's The Real World confessional, after riding around, observing fellow Midd Riders and interviewing various drivers, I soon realized that, like The Real World, each episode on a Midd Ride is very similar - the dramatic situations are not unique. I did notice, however, that most students lacked any knowledge of the capabilities of Midd Ride or the unwritten code of conduct on the bus. In light of this, I have compiled a list of tips to help riders avoid falling victim to the same mistakes of the uninformed, inexperienced rider.

1. A full van is a full van. "The van doesn't move if there are more than nine people on," said Public Safety employee Laurent Lussier, who drives the Midd Ride van on Friday and Saturday nights. Herron-Sweet recalls when 17 students tried to get on at once from the E-Lot. "'But we'll be quiet,' they were saying, but they didn't understand that no matter how quiet they were, we couldn't drive 17 people," says Herron-Sweet.

2. Midd Ride vans don't back up. Ever wonder why the van seems to take a round-about route? Confused bar-goers did one Thursday night when the van drove past Angela's and turned left into Frog Hollow. "You passed it! Are you kidnapping us?!" they yelled. "Everything is a blind spot," said student driver Sage Sipchen '09. "Everyone expects us to back up in KDR's driveway, but we physically can't."

3. "Downtown" is the great euphemism for the bar. On Thursdays, most calls to the dispatcher do not request rides to the bar or Angela's, but to "town." Last Thursday, when the passengers informed the driver that their collective destination was "town," one cavalier student spoke up. "Let's be real. We're all going to Angela's," he said.

4. Tell the dispatcher the truth. "Some kid thought that if he said four people were waiting when there were only two, we would get to them faster. That's not the way we work," says Sipchen.

5. Thanks to the new bus, you still have all your fingers. "This bus was new in the fall. It's a lot nicer and more comfortable," says Lussier. "The old one had bus style doors where you could shut the door and stop them [students] when you were full."

6. Stepping in front of a moving Midd Ride van does not guarantee you a seat. "Busy nights, kids are in the middle of the road. We can't stop. The van is already full and other people have called ahead," says Laussier.

7. Midd Ride drivers may mess with your already scrambled mind. Herron-Sweet and Sipchen wear bunny ears while driving and observe people's reactions. Confused students outside Angela's responded with their own bunny ears with their hands to signal that they needed a ride.

Now, readily informed, use Midd Rides as you will. If you want to share the most intimate details of your life story, chances are it will be overheard. No need to worry, though. What happens on Midd Ride tends to stay on Midd Ride. Lussier said his favorite part of driving is "just listening to the kids," but would not reveal any incriminating stories. Finally, keep up the good work! Lussier describes riders as "mostly grateful." "Most of the time, they're pretty good about it. Just be nice to the [drivers] when they tell you they can only take nine people," he says. Student driver Christina Spencer '08 adds, "If they want to get dropped off the quickest, the easiest way to a Midd Ride Driver's heart is offering us quality Grille food."