SexSage Time to talk about porn

Author: Sage Bierster

No sex column would be complete without an article on pornography. It is in-your-face sexuality taken to extremes. It has infiltrated every media available, and everywhere it appears it generates controversy. It is a $10 billion industry that is forever caught between our most lascivious desires and the "moral high ground" (read Eric Schlosser's Reefer Madness for a more in-depth look). Some people absolutely hate it, yet it seems that the majority find pornography - be it films, magazines, books or internet websites - titillating.

But what is it exactly about porn that turns us on? I mean, the attraction is obvious for, say, 40-year-old virgins who still live with their mothers. But what about the rest of us with active sex lives who actually get to touch a real live naked person, yet still seek out porn? Why does it make us all hot and bothered?

Last week the Science section of The New York Times ran a series of articles on sexuality, including a particularly fascinating article by Natalie Angier entitled "Birds Do It. Bees Do It. People Seek the Keys to It." The article reviewed scientific research on how and why humans experience sexual desire and excitement. Researchers found that humans are easily aroused by sexual stimuli of a physical and/or visual nature, which activates the body's sexual response mechanisms and primes us to experience desire. This goes a long way towards explaining the popularity of pornography, not just with men but with women and couples as well. Images of sex or sexually provocative nudity stimulate our bodies and turn us on, thus prompting us to become what us college kids might call "really horny." Porn therefore offers a steady flow of diverse material to get us in the mood and spurs a natural healthy craving that we all experience.

In spite of its good aspects, it is necessary to point out the darker side of the porn industry that raises qualms among even the most sexually liberated. Groups such as the Anti-Pornography League highlight the reinforcement of male-domination over women and violence against them that is represented in films and other media. They also say that the porn industry, with its capacity to churn out hundreds of movies a week and maintain millions of websites, is responsible for the exploitation of men and women and for putting them at risk. If you have seen a pornographic film chances are it was condom-free, which is dangerous not only for those individuals participating (I hate to say acting, though I doubt that most of those orgasms are real) in the film but for those watching it. It sends the message that good sex - "porno sex" - is only possible when you don't use protection, and that it's OK to get it on with that random cable guy or sexy librarian - or why not both at the same time? - without a condom.

So how do we reconcile the enjoyment and pleasure we get from porn with its more deplorable aspects? There is no one answer and in the end you have to do what feels right for you. But it is wise to remember that you shouldn't compare porn to real life sex, because it will never measure up. Real breasts don't look like that, most penises aren't that big and unsafe sex is never cool.