Sexsage

Author: Sage Bierster

The beginning of a new semester always brings a feeling of excitement and hope for students here at Middlebury College. Whether you are a freshman, returning student, or a Super Senior Feb like myself, the possibilities of the year before us seem endless - especially in the area where all matters concerning the SexSage fall. New and old faces alike combine in ways to make everyone seem more attractive than the year before and we endlessly repeat the old adage about how good-looking Middkids are. Here it isn't just springtime that awakens one's fancy to thoughts of love (or it's baser college variation "hooking-up"): Fall is the season of new beginnings.

Yet for many of us the Fall is a complicated time in our romantic lives. It can be the one part of us that resists the transition into the new scholastic year. First-years arrive with high school sweethearts in metaphorical tow, picture frames lovingly wrapped between the towels and heavy winter jackets. Returning students awkwardly try to make their summer flings last by exchanging emails and going back to the city every other weekend. And inevitably there are the seniors returning from abroad with stories of the exotic foreign lover that unintentionally became a full-blown serious relationship and who will be visiting for a month and meeting your family over the winter holiday. What is one to do upon arriving at Middlebury tabula rasa yet still pining away for the one you left behind?

Unfortunately there is no formula for a well-maintained long-distance relationship, nor is there a right or wrong moment to break-up. There are relationships which stand the test of time and mileage and there are those that peter out after the first phone bill arrives. Perhaps the most demoralizing aspect of these romances is that if you were closer in physical distance to each other, the relationship would most likely continue. Yet it is as much a test of emotional maturity, a sign of our growth into adulthood, when we can recognize how much we like or even love the person and still admit to ourselves that the best course of action is to go our separate ways. Then of course you might make it to graduation and still be together, or the relationship could deteriorate naturally. Like I said, there is no litmus test, and the only way of knowing might be to dive right in and see where the currents take you.

I myself have gone down the long-distance road twice before. My first attempt ended badly after the distance drove us apart; I'm still getting over the pain of the second, which ended recently after a long debate of whether we could survive a second year without seeing each for 6 months at a time. Although it hurts to admit that I couldn't cut it, that I don't have the mettle to commit myself to someone I barely see, I feel wiser for realizing that relationships sometimes have an expiration date and for ending a good one before it could turn sour. And as I try to mend my own broken heart, I take solace in the idea that with every end comes fresh beginnings, with every Fall a chance to start something anew.