overseas briefing

Author: Molley Kaiyoorawongs

FERRARA - I just saw my coach's penis.

I'm in Italy and the second grueling practice of Tchoukball just ended. I suppose he was on the way to take a shower in this locker room that isn't really a locker room. The "men's locker room" is an empty room except for some benches. The "lady's locker room" is where the sinks, toilets and showers are. There aren't any benches. I think this locker room set up is considered normal since my body-language-reading-ability tells me that none of the girls seem to mind the guys romping through our space to get to their showers.

Since I've gotten to Ferrrara, I've had to rely on my body-language-reading-ability for a lot of things since I don't actually understand what people say. It's worked pretty well - I manage to giggle at the jokes the funny professors expect us to giggle at. I've found places following directions from people who speak a mile a minute because, luckily, they gestured simultaneously. I've even told the baker man that I want my pizza-to-go warmed up! And let me tell you something, boys and girls - if you thought you were going to get to your study abroad haven not actually able to understand the nuances of the language and get away with just smiling and nodding, ho ho were you wrong.

Smiling and nodding didn't work for me when a stranger in the piazza told me that I had chocolate smeared on my nose from when I had eaten a typical Ferrarese pampapato an half-hour before! It didn't work for me when my Medieval History professor asked me, in front of the class of 94 Italians, where I'm from! And it certainly didn't work for me when that cute, articulate, non-smoking (that's rare), TALL (that's really rare) Italian asked me if I had a boyfriend.

So, back to the penis. I didn't know how to react! Is it normal to see your coach's penis in Italy? I mean, women ride around on their bicycles-equipped-with-flowery-baskets-and-baby-seats wearing see-through shirts so that you see their purple bras all the time! Is this the same? That is, is it just as acceptable? Or should I act embarrassed and regretful that I was in MY locker room putting on my OWN purple bra when he burst in as naked as the day he was born? Well, avid readers, this is where my body-language-reading-ability again came to the rescue! He blushed a little bit. No! It was not wishful thinking on my part. And he was not red in the face because he just got done with an intense practice. He actually blushed. And that's how I decided - Seeing your coach's penis isn't normal - not even in Italy. I turned around and pretended that I hadn't seen anything as he lowered his hands and did that thing that all the boys did in 10th grade while waiting around in the morning for class to start. You guy readers know what I'm talking about.

So, yes, cheers from Italy - I hope you're having fewer embarrassing moments over at Midd than I'm having here. Only because it means that you're not laughing as much, of course.