sexsage

Author: Sage Bierster

Oral sex is like playing a sport - some people are naturals, most are amateurs, while others are so afraid they'll drop the ball they never step onto the field. Perhaps its because you were picked last in grade school or were indoor kids, but some of you at Middlebury and beyond are sitting on the sidelines refusing to participate. And beneath every "I'm not into it," or "I just don't like it" lurk other reasons why certain men and women don't practice oral sex. For some, it's because you are embarrassed about your body, about how it smells or tastes or looks naked, or perhaps you feel self-conscious about your lack of experience or copious amounts thereof. None of these, however, should keep you from experiencing something as pleasurable as cunnilingus and fellatio. Before you make everything more complicated with sex, going down is a good way to get comfortable with yourself, your partner and with bodily functions - queefs, anyone? It's a wonderful exercise in concentration on each other's needs and preferences.

Honestly, your partner probably doesn't notice and does not care if you have strange body hair patterns or use too much teeth. Well, maybe they do care about the teeth thing, but think of it this way - you're having sex with this person. You're naked together and having intercourse, so how could you possibly think that your partner would make fun of you for your body or inexperience, or find you unattractive? If they do, you shouldn't be sleeping with them, and probably are for all the wrong reasons. I would hope that you're comfortable with them and that you trust them if you are willing to be so exposed with them. After all, you chose to have sex with them, and they you - so don't be shy. Even if you are a virgin or haven't had sex with that particular person, you're still in a sexual relationship with him or her - all of the above still applies to you. Unless the person you are hooking-up with or dating is completely selfish and immature, he or she is there with you because you are attracted to each other.

Since we've established that your fears are probably ungrounded and mostly come from very human insecurities that everyone experiences, what's to be done? I say give oral sex chance or at least try it again before you write it off altogether. It can be a wonderful way to help overcome many of these issues. Your face is in their crotch, their face is in yours, so you better get comfortable with yourselves pretty quick. And just in case you didn't notice, genitals are some of the craziest looking, smelling, tasting and acting things you will ever come across, and everyone has them. Yes, there are liquids and hairs and odd shapes - it's a jungle down there. So? Instead of hovering above the canopy, why not go exploring down below? The more you give, the more you receive, and vice-versa. Ultimately you want your experience together to be as enjoyable as possible, as all good sex and great relationships are founded on the pleasure of each other's company. And if blowjobs or vaginas mortify you, then obviously someone isn't having a good time.



Additional assistance from Jordan Nassar.