The Devil Wears Patagonia

Author: Jordan Nassar

EXHIBIT A: Your hands are sore and callused, your thighs and calves feeling the burn as you finish up at the climbing wall - another good day at the gym. You shower, dress, grab your bag and head off to class with your harness strapped tightly around your pantsÖ no? Something seem a little off about that? I would say so.

EXHIBIT B: Your chlorine-soaked eyes bloodshot, your shoulders aching after some time in the pool as you hit the shower and get dressed. Those 100 laps are just getting easier and easier - good for you, making progress. You leave the gym, the wind gliding swiftly over your rubber swimming cap, tight on your head as you walk to dinnerÖ wait, something's wrong with that picture, wouldn't you say?

EXHIBIT C: You bend down gracefully, touching your fingertips to your toes as you stretch out after a great run. The foliage is beautiful on the cross country trail this time of year. Walk home sweaty, then get squeaky clean, put on clothes and go to dinner, throwing your running shoes back on as you walk out the door.

Now, you may not see anything wrong with this last scenario, but beware - there is a horrible (and all too common) mistake being made. You'd do a double-take at a Midd-kid clad in a climbing harness sitting next to you in class. You'd laugh to yourself upon catching sight of someone wearing a swimming cap while pressing a panini at Proctor. So why do you think it's acceptable to wear running shoes with jeans and a t-shirt? Harnesses are for use when climbing. Swimming caps are to be used when swimming. And likewise, RUNNING SHOES ARE FOR RUNNING.

Take my word for it - there are few sights more painful than running shoes with jeans. I don't know how I can state it clearly or strongly enough. Running shoes with jeans is a horrid combination.

I realize that with current shoe trends that have us wearing retro-inspired Nikes and multi-colored Adidas, one might think that any sort of sport-related shoe is appropriate for casual wear. This is a mistake. I think it's safe to say that anything in the grey and white color palette involving breathable mesh fabrics and all-terrain soles do NOT fit into the same category as high-top dunks.

I also understand that sometimes there isn't time to get home and change after the gym before class or dinner, and there's nothing we can do about that. If you're in full exercise attire, it's clear that you've just been working out, or that you are about to.

Beyond that, however, there is no grey area. Running shoes should never, never be worn casually with jeans, khakis, skirts, dresses or anything that is not sweat or windbreaker material.

I apologize that this installment of The Devil Wears Patagonia isn't as whimsical as the last, but this is no laughing matter. This problem plagues our campus, and we all must do our part to wipe it out. So take heed of my words and go forth - leave your running shoes in your gym bag.