the ethicist

Author: Amanda Greene

Halloween gets college students excited. Really excited. The ability, for a few hours, to dress up as something else, to indulge childhood fantasies and to become an object or a person that is usually off limits is undeniably enticing. Halloween, as a holiday where you are encouraged to wear your grandmother's weathered cardigan, with your mother's hot pink spandex from the 80's and your little brothers Sesame Street t-shirt, widens the range of acceptable dress.

That said, Halloween is not an invitation to don clothing that will offend others or push the boundaries of respectability. Your lingerie cannot double as a fairy outfit. And that outfit you're wearing that mirrors the boy who always wears three polo shirts and perfectly ironed khaki pants to 8 a.m. Monday classes is not original or funny. As a general rule, any outfit that pokes fun at someone else who you are not close enough to joke around with should be avoided. Do you really want to bump into the person you're dressed up as at Johnson, and have to awkwardly avoid eye contact amidst flying watermelons and water balloons?

The secret to choosing the perfect Halloween costume and to maximizing the enjoyment derived from dressing in a ridiculous outfit lies in the selection of something that is clever and fun in a PG way. For Middlebury students, wit is currency. Did you see the kid with a pot on his head? That underwater superhero getup shows the figure you've worked for all summer without exposing too much skin. Sexualized Halloween costumes are as uncool as bottled water.

And now for this week's question:

Q: Two of my good friends are dating, and I am sick of constantly being bombarded with excessive displays of PDA. I'm well aware of what they do behind closed doors, and I don't think that their relationship and their affection needs to be exhibited across campus. I think it's adorable when couples hold hands, kiss briefly and show warmth, but I feel uncomfortable when public affection progresses further. When is it appropriate for me to ask the lovebirds to restrict their caresses to a private space?
- Distressed about Caress

A: Couples should not do anything in public that they would not feel comfortable doing in front of their grandparents, coaches and professors. As a generalization, cuddling should be restricted to the level of touch that reflects friendship and not intimacy, and kissing should stop at a peck. The rules loosen up at parties, but daytime rendezvous' demand a level of affection that expresses care without explicit demonstration of what care entails. If you know the PDA transgressors it is acceptable and appropriate for you to voice your concerns, and to speak up about anything that makes you unnerved. Campus is a public, communal space and must be treated as such.

Want to consult The Ethicist? Send submissions to amgreene@middlebury.edu.