campus character Prince of Puke Nat Nelson '11 dances his way into our hearts

Author: Tess Russell

Back in September, when Nat Nelson '11 realized that he was about to throw up on floormate Emily McDonald '11, he apologized - roughly 0.76 seconds before the impact - for tainting her classy black dress with his vomit which, he admitted, "was not really black or classy in any way."

That precise calculation is gleaned from Nelson's subsequent apology note, which has become the stuff of local legend on the sixth floor of Hadley (where he lives). The sheet of loose leaf paper depicts two stick figures standing approximately one and one-half meters apart, and charts the parabolic path from the male's mouth to the female. The first completed equation determines the initial velocity of the traveling puke, while the second solves for time.

Nelson maintains that he has been secretly obsessed with McDonald ever since he started following her illustrious swimming career several years back. When they both arrived at Middlebury, he knew the stars were aligning in his favor, and he does not even see the vomit incident as a setback.

"I'm pretty sure it was the first time that any substance of mine touched any part of her," he said. "That's got to count for something. Besides, you can't imagine how many girls I've gotten from that story."

The Concord, N.H.-native is a member of the cross-country team, but that is just one of many campus activities in which he participates.

"I usually eat in the cafeteria," he deadpanned. "And I'm a very active dancer."

Active indeed. The exact nature of Nelson's smooth stylings is admittedly hard to put into words - witnessing him in action, the character of Elaine from "Seinfeld" comes to mind - but a few of his friends did give it their best shot.

"He looks like a coked-out mongoose," said Sean Maye '11.

Jake Moritz '11 agreed that Nelson's moves are "truly dysfunctional."

But Nelson, a self-proclaimed "sexual deviant," has bigger things on his mind - namely, upping the visibility of his Facebook persona.

"I was recently lamenting that I only have 25 friends on Facebook, but at least I've asked all of them out more than five times," he said. I cautioned that he might encounter a barrage of new friend requests after this article was published, but he was unperturbed.

"It's OK if they all want a piece of me," he said. "It's like a little piece of hope."

Next on the agenda? Spring Break, baby! When Nelson suggested a jaunt to Kosovo, aptly pointing out that it is a "happenin' place," one of his fellow travelers admitting to not knowing where the newly independent nation-state is located.

"Well," responded Nelson earnestly, "there's no better way to learn!"

Indeed, it seems that this kind attitude and perpetual optimism is a characteristic of Nelson's even more marked than his dancing skills or his physics moxie.

"Nat is actually the happiest person I have ever met," Moritz said. 'I don't know anyone who smiles as much as he does.

Nowhere is this spirit of inclusiveness more apparent than when Nelson speaks of his beloved floor - his home away from home here at Middlebury.

"Hadley Six comes under a lot of fire for being, perhaps, a little more social than some other freshman floors," he said. "But I want to show them the wonderful community we foster here. Anyone can come up at anytime and they'll get a nice hello and maybe even a dance."

Just remember to duck if you hear him start to apologize.