Across the pond

Author: Adam Clayton

The incredibly risible and somewhat pitiful saga that has engulfed football club Valencia climaxed recently when a judge determined that the club was within limits to tell David Albelda, previous fan-idol- turned villain and long-time club veteran, he was to leave along with other malcontents but could not go to a rival club. What was at stake? Nothing less than the $60 million release clause that Albelda demands Valencia compensates him for refusing to let him revive his career. Albelda and others had backed recently departed director of football Amadeo Carboni against ex-manager Quique Sánchez Flores, leading new manager Ronald Koeman to determine he had to get rid of them as soon as possible.

The whole situation arose because club chairman Juan Soler successfully determined the fastest route to football euthanasia was by appointing Valencia fullback and luxury-shopping buddy Carboni, despite the fact he knew nothing beyond how to stop a forward run and spot fake Versacci. Carboni promptly made his presence felt by bitterly refusing to renew outstanding defender and long-time teammate Fabien Ayala's lavish but well-earned contract, quickly turning Valencia into one of the worst defensive teams in the league. He then continued abusing his newly obtained role by exacting revenge on his old manager Sánchez Flores, whom he had feuded with as a player, and attempting to force him out the club. By the end of last season both Carboni and Sanchez had left, but by then Valencia had begun to look more like a fiefdom on the verge of civil war then anything resembling a football club.

Unfortunately, Valencia and new manager Ronald Koeman now face the prospect of competing as a team that three weeks ago testified against each other in court. Valencia is currently floundering in ninth place in La Liga and has let in more goals than all but three teams, a shocking position for preseason title challengers and a perennial top four team. Soler, having been the subject of two bouts of spontaneous handkerchief-waving by crazed Valencia fans (a sign of discontent and, apparently, a sight to be feared), has now decided to sell the club and call it quits. Furthermore, 19-year-old phenom Ever Banega failed a roadside alcohol test on Sunday, reviving memories of his recent $26 million transfer when pictures of him naked were published across the Internet. Such a tumultuous week led the bookies to install Valencia as front-runner to receive the Spirit of Sport Award in positively purveying Spanish football's image of unity and responsibility.

Somewhat simultaneous to writing this, Arsenal became the first English team in history to beat Milan at the San Siro, scoring two goals in the final 10 minutes to advance to the quarterfinals. In the process they managed to show up Milan for putting Kalac in goal, arguably the worst player to ever start a Champions League game. A hard list to top considering it includes DaMarcus Beasley. And Landon Donovan. Manchester United also managed to get into the quarter finals courtesy of flamboyant midfielder Ronaldo, who scored his 30th goal of the season. That's only two fewer than Fernando Torres, Obafemi Martins and Carlos Tevez combined. Apparently, Ronaldo's soon-to-be bound for either Barcelona, fellow winners on Tuesday, or their less-illustrious rivals Real Madrid, in a move which would certainly please their core fan group - young Japanese girls. Regardless, the quarterfinals in early April could well turn out to be one of the most entertaining in recent history.