Got Consent? Learning the Rules of Engagement...

Author: Tess Russell

This week's Public Safety log listed - among a string of wallet thefts and alcohol-related citations - an incident of sexual assault, which reportedly occurred on Feb. 28 in Coffrin Hall. This will likely strike many students as shocking and frightening, but sexual violence at Middlebury may be much more common than we think. On the national level, approximately one in four women and one in 33 men will be sexually assaulted during their lifetimes, though the majority of those cases go unreported.

"While many people feel that rape and sexual assault do not happen here, in reality, they do," explained Kolbe Franklin '08, president of Feminist Action at Middlebury. "Students need to be aware of how to keep themselves safe, the resources available to them if they have been raped or sexually assaulted, as well as how to help friends who have been victimized."

At Middlebury, Parton Health Center retains two sexual health examiners, certified to administer everything from HIV prophylactics to complete rape kits geared at collecting evidence (these and any other medical expenses incurred are absorbed by the Vermont Center for Crime Victim Services). In the event that a weapon is involved, the Health Center is required to report the assault. Otherwise, it observes a policy of strict confidentiality, though it does strongly recommend that students make use of on-site counseling facilities.

Still, those sort of grave situations are fairly uncommon - Terry Jenny, associate director of the Health Center, said that her staff performs a maximum of two or three kits per year, if any - compared to the much more frequent occurrence of students coming in to get checked out the morning after a regretted, and sometimes scarcely remembered, sexual encounter.

This so-called "gray area" surrounding the issue of consent has been a great source of controversy in recent years, particularly on college campuses where hookups are often fueled by large quantities of alcohol. In the 1990s, Ohio's Antioch College even went so far as to mandate written approval from both parties prior to copulation. The question of how to get everyone on the same page about consent remains a vexing one.

Karin Hanta, director of Chellis House - the Women's Resource Center for the College that helped coordinate and sponsor February's "Let's Talk About Sex" month - believes that this problem could be remedied by increasing students' exposure to information on sexual harassment and assault from the beginning of their college careers.

"Our aim should be preventative rather than reactive," Hanta said. "In today's culture, many people don't know that they have been part of an illegal act because the definitions have become fuzzy. Every student's educational experience should provide a better understanding of what the terms consent and nonconsent mean - that should be included in the information package that goes out to incoming students so they can have a first conversation with their parents on the subject."

Unfortunately, in some cases, the very perception that those terms are "fuzzy" can discourage victims (the vast majority of them female) from coming forward after a sexual assault.

"A lot of times we deal with women who think what they've experienced falls into that gray area when they really did say 'no' and make their objections clear," said Kerry Duquette-Hoffman, advocacy program coordinator for WomenSafe, a local nonprofit committed to ending domestic and sexual violence. "In addition, there's the question of legality - situations that wouldn't necessarily hold up in court but still involve a woman waking up and feeling like she didn't have control over the situation."

The Health Center's policy is to call WomenSafe on all cases where sexual assault is even a remote possibility. (Even though students stand to gain a great deal from the additional companionship, they often insist it is not necessary because they feel guilty about imposing.)

"Since we play the role of medical examiners, it's hard for us to provide emotional support at the same time that we are conducting the exam," Jenny said. "The WomenSafe representative can act as an advocate, helping the student make choices as far as what kind of support is available."

That support, according to Duquette-Hoffman, can range from just sitting with a victim while a rape kit is happening to helping providing her with clean clothing if hers needs to be examined for specimens.

"We really take the lead of each woman we work with," she said. "If an assault has happened that day and a person is still in shock, we can help with all of the little details that seem really overwhelming at the time and just make it clear that there are people out there listening to them and believing their stories, which is a really important message. More often than not, though, women don't come forward until a week or a month after the attack."

Duquette-Hoffman attributes this reluctance both to the generally trying process of dealing with sexual assault and also to our innate desire, as humans, to return to a "safe" place after experiencing trauma.

"Medical attention is not always the first priority," she explained. "To be honest, I've never worked with a woman who hasn't wanted to take a shower and cleanse herself thoroughly after being assaulted."

One of the main goals of organizations like WomenSafe, as well as the many campus organizations that sponsored "Let's Talk About Sex" month, is to get people communicating honestly about sex, in the hopes that many of our societies biases about sexuality can be corrected. Jyoti Daniere, the health and wellness director for the College, also intends to help students reevaluate their use of alcohol through a series of upcoming events, including "Safe Spring Break" week that will feature a Beer Goggle Olympics.

"We have given students lots of good information about sexual health and, ideally, a lot of that will be absorbed, but the reality is that alcohol can undermine our best intentions," Daniere said.

"Many people don't realize how many cases of rape are drug-facilitated, because the most common 'date rape' drug is alcohol," agreed Duquette-Hoffman. "However, the Vermont statute on sexual assault clearly states that if either party's judgment is impaired, that's not consensual sex."

The issue of consent, then, is a universal one. Last month, Charlotte Pierce-Baker, professor of Women's and Gender Studies at Vanderbilt University and author of "Surviving the Silence: Black Women's Stories of Rape," spoke at Middlebury and was introduced by her husband, who proposed that rape is not a "women's problem," but a problem that happens to women.

Duquette-Hoffman elaborated on this gender divide, referencing a local workshop with male domestic abusers who discovered that they had never been given any notions about the preciousness of their sexuality.

"Women are taught to be chaste or at least to be discriminating in choosing their sexual partners," Duquette-Hoffman said. "They can rebel against that standard or follow it, but it's certainly there. With men, on the other hand, there's this expectation to 'get as much as you can whenever you can,' which certainly says something about the value we as a society place on men's bodies."

"The truth is that not only the women who experience sexual assault, but also everyone who is affected by the rape of a friend or family member - or even by the idea of rape - are devoting a large portion of their time to thinking and worrying about these issues," she said. "In that way, sexual violence impacts all of our lives on a daily basis."

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can seek support by calling WomenSafe's 24-hour hotline at (802) 388-4205.