Group brings out men's sensitive sides

Author: Tess Russell

Attending a session of Men's Group on Tuesday, March 18, I eagerly anticipated stepping into a parallel universe of forthcoming male students who would supply the answers to those vexing, age-old questions we females often ask about our Y-chromosome possessing counterparts. Are they just not that into us? What is the fascination with sports-themed video games, particularly when those playing them excel at the "real" version of the sport? And - perhaps most importantly - why do some guys insist not only on dipping, but on covering every surface of a room with Gatorade bottles full of that unappealing cocktail of Skoal residue and saliva when there are trash cans mere inches away?

My expectations were dashed when I arrived at the forum - held bimonthly in Munroe 405 - to find a lone man, organizer John Beattie, in attendance. Beattie, who has worked in the past with the Center for Counseling and Human Relations, was commissioned by the College last year to found Men's Group as a means for male students to voice their concerns about their masculine identities in a safe and secure environment.

"Over the years, we recognized that there are a lot of men on campus who are isolated from each other, who are struggling with common issues and facing the same kind of personal problems that don't necessarily get verbalized," said Beattie. "Our goal has been to offer a space where men can converse with each other freely without risking embarrassment."

Two other students trickled in within the first few minutes of my conversation with Beattie and expressed frustration that the Men's Group meetings are not better attended. The low level of participation certainly does not reflect a lack of advertising on Beattie's part - indeed, his all-school e-mails and signs soliciting members are often discussed around campus, though generally in a somewhat mocking tone.

Nicholas Palmeri '09 feels this dismissal of the group's purpose reflects a larger, troubling trend.

"There's a huge focus on how women's lives may be governed by social norms and taboos, but men are rarely encouraged to look at how those same societal standards affect or even victimize them," said Palmeri. "It's disappointing that so few men on this campus are interested in fostering a dialogue, or at least don't feel comfortable talking about these important issues with strangers, because I think the guys that do come have gotten a lot our of it."

Palmeri also commented on what he sees as an unhealthy drinking culture at Middlebury that encourages unhealthy, "illicit" behavior. He jokingly compared the average Middlebury guy to the stereotypes portrayed in last year's popular, highly-circulated YouTube video entitled "My New Haircut."

"Students have gotten away from the healthy purpose of alcohol - loosening people up at a party among friends - to this idea that we should drink as much as we can and then go out and behave really aggressively," Palmeri said.

In the past, Beattie has structured each week's discussion around a particular theme - these topics have ranged anger and violence to male participation in athletics - but recently has been opting for a less restrictive atmosphere. Felipe Bruneda '07, a recent graduate who was also in attendance, viewed this as a positive change and noted that some of the group's most interesting insights have come from that sort of more generalized, free-flowing conversation.

Bruneda, who now works as an intern in the College's Media Studies department, also suggested that increasing Middlebury's academic offerings in the field of Women's and Gender Studies to include offerings on masculinity and male issues could help bring those concerns to light. He noted that Karin Hanta, director of Chellis House, recently commissioned him to write a response to February's Charlotte Pierce-Baker lecture.

"That personal action of reaching out and saying, 'Look, we're interested in your opinion,' is a really good way to get more males, especially male writers, involved in the discussion," Bruneda said.