the ethicist

Author: Amanda Greene

Housing can be - and is - stressful. The issues that arise when Middlebury students decide where to live, and whom to live with are complicated. How do you tell a good friend that you don't want to live with him? What do you do when someone doesn't fit into your block of four? What about housing numbers? Is it okay to pull someone into your block because of his stellar room draw number?

How are Middlebury students suppose to navigate this complicated process amidst midterm week and talks of much anticipated spring break? The answer: carefully and thoughtfully. Housing arrangements are particularly important because they dictate a larger part of college life. Living on a quiet hall is completely different from living in a social house. If you like to go to bed early and your suitemates party four days a week, residing with them might not be the best idea, even if you do plan on spending every Friday and Saturday night together.

It's not unethical to choose your housing based on what you want - but, if handled poorly, your actions can send your friends the wrong message and can come across as offensive and hurtful. If you don't want to live with someone, explain why. It's OK to admit that you don't want a roommate, that you have different study habits, or that you just want to do something different. But be sure to explain to your friends that your preferences reflect a change in your preferences and not a change in how you feel about them.

If you don't want to live with someone because he sings at odd hours of the night, or because you can't stand his friends, or how little he showers, don't disclose your reasons for living elsewhere. In this situation, a white lie is preferable to hurting someone's feelings - just apologize and say you already committed to another rooming assignment. Figuring out housing is hard, but it's a lot easier when everyone understands that groups are inevitably going to form, and that randomly assigned numbers leave all students without any guaranteed dream suite.

And now for this week's question:

Q: I really want to live in a single next year and have a very good housing number. I know that the room I want to live in is mostly desired by underclassmen and that I would get it even if my number were not as low. My friends want to live in a suite and have terrible numbers. Is it ethical for me to get my friends the suite and then to trade rooms with one of them so that I can live in the single?

- Tempted-to-Trade

A: This situation is complicated by the reality of how often Midd students live in rooms they were not assigned to in order to make sure that all of their friends get desired housing. It's not right for students to intentionally lie to the College about where they are living because of a need to know where a student can be found for safety purposes. Intentionally manipulating the housing system hurts those students who do adhere to the rules, and negates the College's attempt to give each student equal access to housing by randomly assigning numbers. While it's noble of you to want to help your friends out, your actions are unethical because they deceive both the College and your peers. That said, the reality of the situation is that "housing swaps" do occur and will continue to occur because students are fervently loyal to their friends and know that getting reprimanded for cheating the system is preferable to having someone live in an isolated single.

Want to consult the ethicist? Send submissions to amgreene@middlebury.edu.