the ethicist

Author: Amanda Greene

A good friend of mine, Emily, was a tour guide our sophomore year. I would often see her walking backwards leading around eager groups of students (and their equally eager parents) answering questions about social life, food and academics. Emily always had a big grin on her face, and had learned how to slant any answer she gave so that Middlebury was presented in the most favorable light. I thought Emily loved giving tours, and imagined that she would lead them until she graduated, incorporating in her abroad experience, the process of writing a thesis and her thoughts about life after Midd.

Emily no longer gives tours. Why not? Because she felt dishonest. She said that people would ask her questions, and that she answered them in a way that promoted Middlebury, but that her answers were not, in fact, how she truly felt. She found herself assuring prospective students that Middlebury wasn't really a lot of work, and that there was time to take part in any activity that you had an interest in trying. The picture Emily painted of Middlebury differed from the Middlebury that she actually attended. Emily decided that she felt uncomfortable glossing over certain things in her tours, and handed in her tour guide nametag. She still got to keep the free mittens.

I applaud Emily on her decision to "retire" from being a tour guide. It's important and essential that tour guides present Middlebury enthusiastically and that they tell prospective students about the wonderful and nurturing place that Midd is. That said, if a student feels that there is a dichotomy between the Middlebury she presents to the public and the Middlebury she discusses with her friends, then she might not be, at this point in time, Middlebury's best ambassador. Tour guides need to be enthusiastic, but they should be honest as well, because prospective Midd students are very adept at most things, including discerning artificiality.

And now for this week's question:

Q: Whenever I go to the dining hall many of my fellow students make a terrible mess of tables and serving areas. I'm constantly watching people spill sugar, drop pasta and leave cups and dishes scattered across tables. I find this behavior incredibly disrespectful, and although I don't know them, would like to ask these students to pick up after themselves. Is it ethical for me to chide my peers for their behavior?
- Incensed-by-Immaturity

A: There is nothing stopping you from voicing your disappointment with your peers dining hall etiquette. If you feel comfortable reprimanding them you are free to do so, but I would recommend that you keep the exchange non-confrontational and that you are not accusatory or judgmental. If you feel uncomfortable confronting your peers, because you don't want to create conflict, you should talk to a dining hall employee and should ask him to remind students of their obligation to clean up after meals. It is wonderful that you are trying to change the behavior of your peers, and I hope that your effort produces notable results.

Want to consult the ethicist? Send submissions to amgreene@middlebury.edu.