Dr. Jesse, B.A.

Author: Jesse Davidson

I think the lack of social excitement that I experienced on campus this past weekend had little to do with a shortage of parties, or the usual whip-cracking by Public Safety. And it certainly had nothing to do with playing chess and listening to National Public Radio last Friday night. While a few of my housemates went to shake it at The Bunker and I stayed at home to "hold down the fort, guys," I realized that there has been a whole lot of scientific excitement in the air. Like many students, I managed to catch a cold last week, and I was going to write this week's column about immune systems and what makes them strong. My immune system has no semblance of strength, so I have no idea. But a nugget of scientific gold appeared in my inbox last week, in the form of the Parton Health Center's "Health Alert," which let me know that the mumps is a virus that still hangs around college campuses. I had mistakenly assumed that mumps were as old-fashioned as scurvy, or the consumption, but don't be fooled by the history books. It's updated, modernized, hip-ified. The mumps is back baby, and I'm feeling funky.

According to the Health Alert, this solitary case of the mumps does not justify declaration of that thing - you know - that happened in the 1995 film co-starring Morgan Freeman and the Ebola virus. I'm talking about the dreaded o-word. I do not know how many student infections would permit its use, but luckily we will not need assistance from waning Hollywood actors. The mumps is typically a mild viral infection of the salivary glands, and the symptoms can be treated with anti-inflammatory drugs. At its worst, however, the mumps virus can propagate to other areas of the body, such as the spine, brain, pancreas, testicles and ovaries. Interestingly, the mumps vaccination has recently been a topic of medical debate because it was once dubiously linked to autism.

The mumps vaccine is not of those do-it-yourself, party favorites like chicken pox. Called the MMR vaccine, it is a shot that offers immunity from the mumps, measles and rubella. A causal relationship between the MMR vaccination and autism was established in 1998, but it has since been properly squelched. A scientist (later discovered to be a criminal) named Andrew Wakefield published an article in a UK medical journal that implicated the administration of the MMR vaccine as one reason for the onset of developmental disorders like autism. It turns out that Dr. Wakefield was about as trustworthy as Hannibal Lecter asking for a handshake. His data were fabricated and he had treated his autistic subjects contrary to their medical interests. Despite his questionable integrity, the usage of the MMR vaccine declined globally in response to the media coverage of his research. Because the number of administered vaccinations dropped, the prevalence of measles infections grew. This particular disease is now endemic in parts of the world. Dr. Wakefield has been charged with professional misconduct and is undergoing court hearings this year. In September, researchers at Columbia University confirmed no link between autism and the MMR vaccine.

The mumps is an illness of concern here because it could be easily transmitted in such a small community. In case you didn't read the mumps alert, it says that if you have not had the MMR vaccine, or are unsure about any of your immunizations, now would be the right time to figure that out. I suggest doing what the Health Center says, before they start telling you to take some Advil and put some ice on it.