Dr. Jesse, B.A.

Author: Jesse Davidson

An article published on July 28 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) revealed the existence of the only other mammal, besides Weybridge House residents, that subsists entirely on organic microbrew. The pen-tailed treeshrew, an inhabitant of the West Malaysian rainforest, has been found to regularly consume alcoholic nectar from the flower buds of the bertam palm, which can contain ethanol concentrations up to 3.8%. Their binges are beneficial to both themselves and the plant, since the nectar is high in calories and the shrew pollinates the flower buds. These shrews, however, don't polish off the bottle and then invite other shrews up into the canopy for some late night. Their metabolism actually clears alcohol so quickly that they do not get inebriated, nor do they get hangovers.

The reason why humans do get sick and headachy in the morning is manifold. Ethanol gets converted in the liver to acetaldehyde, a toxin, which then gets converted to harmless acetic acid. Alcohol also inhibits the production of a hormone called vasopressin, an effect that causes the body to get rid of water; you thus get dehydrated, sometimes all over your roommate's laundry basket and/or laptop. So it is the toxic effects of acetaldehyde, along with dehydration, that causes nausea and headaches. Dehydration literally causes your brain to lose water volume and slightly shrivel away from the skull, causing pain. The brain itself does not have any feeling, but it is covered by a sheath called the dura mater that "is connected to the skull by pain-sensitive filaments." But those are clearly not the only symptoms of being hungover; I have always wanted to know why, at Sunday morning brunch, my hands shake so bad that I can't fork my delicious Ross omelet into my food-hole.

The tremors, also known as "jazz hands", are a symptom that can be caused in part by a response known as glutamate rebound. Glutamate is a neurotransmitter whose production is inhibited by alcohol. Once you've cleared the alcohol out of your system, your body overcompensates and actually overproduces glutamate, flooding your nerve synapses with this excitatory neurotransmitter. This effect serves to "rebound" the depressive effect that alcohol has on the body, and your nervous system thus becomes overstimulated. To get back to feeling your best, all you have to do is calm your body down with another drink. Then another. Then another. Then another.

More significant are the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal after a long period of heavy drinking, say several months. Known as delirium tremens (DTs), it is a much more severe illness that can make you disoriented and hallucinate. You then start seeing visions, like pink elephants, or even worse, snakes and spiders all over your body. It is caused by a decrease in production of a different kind of receptor, called GABA receptors, on your nerve cell dendrites over time. GABA, unlike glutamate, serves to inhibit stimulation of your nervous system. So - fewer GABA receptors, more excitement.

Alcohol, when used responsibly, is a lot of fun for some, but obviously comes at a cost if abused regularly. The chemistry of alcohol and its effects gets more complicated and I still have training wheels on when it comes to neuroscience, so this synopsis is rather thin. There are actually many more factors that have been shown to contribute to DTs and hangovers and the research is still accumulating. A lot of this information can be found online. Just remember that alcohol can, at your best and your worst, make you feel like you've got canned heat in your heels or spiders in your pants.